Wednesday, 25 March 2026

Astra Militraum, Inquisition Cronies & Others.

 So following several months of inactivity, and a repeat of the Daemon Semen episode, I have completed some more models for my fantasy world of toy soldiers. These were actually finished last December but my impatience coupled with a bout of very cold weather that coincided with spray varnishing delayed that somewhat.


Demo Charge Cultist

Here's another member of the Assembly of D'Keddes, my ever increasing genestealer cult. This one represents a demo charge in the form of a barrel, parts of a Sentenel heavy flamer and some extensive arm repositioning. He's also holding the remains of an old beaky marine helmet to prove how committed to the cause he is.

Mucho Plosive demo charge operator extrordinaire.

Unconventional Inquisitorial Henchmen

A while back I was rooting around in my pile of shame and found several models that I had intended to use for some game/army/scenario and then the creative urge scarpered and landed on some other pretty. Well here are some of them finished and shoehorned into a fluff reason for their inclusion into this post.

Old Citadel Zombie
This lad was originally going to be a baddy for my Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay days. Him and two or three other undead medievil style chaps. Back then, there was no such thing as contrast paints so the flayed skin and general complicatedness of this model always put me off. I then thought that this model could be the henchman of a some heretic that my inventive Inquisitor has managed to skin and still keep alive while at the same time using his considerable psychic skills to ensure he is an expendable pawn and at the same time a horrific warning to others.That's my backstory and I'm sticking to it.
  
Lord Gorgol Rackmurder, former planetary governor of Strass IX insignificant moon of Strass VIII.

Primitive Feral Operatives
Here are two old citadel chaos warriors or possibly thugs, that were originally for my chaos fantasy army (back in the 1990's I think most people started collecting them), but as is a very common theme in my stories, I got bored and never finished it. These were before all chaos warriors wore exactly the same armour and used the same weaponry, very unchaotic! These lads have been through dechoasifier before they were allowed into the IAHGWU (Inquisition Acolyte Henchmen General Workers Union) and are now fully paid up members. The one on the left has an heretic's head for the lols and the one on the right bears a rather heavy blunt sword for close up Inquisitorial activities.

Hockey McSever and Grinny O'Headblatter.

Ex-Mordian Lieutenant.
This model is an old metal Mordian that was the last survivor of a half assed attempt to go for a Mordian army. I realised I didn't like painting them and Ebayed the lot. Contrast paints were then invented and I gave him the green light to join the Ordo Hereticus or some such to delivered hot bullet pain to the enemies of his Inquisitor master. If he had a back story I'm sure he was the last of his battalion to remain after some 40,000 heretics attacked and was scooped up by an amiable Witch Hunter, giving some vermillion pants and told to go get some.

Lieutenant Bluto the Reasonably Unkillable.

Necromundan Thugs
Inquisitor Jao (the guy who controls this unit of acolytes) summered on Hive Primus and fell in love with the place, the cramped, hazardous conditions, toxic air and highly fractious inhabitants made him enjoy his time there. That, and three cults and a minor rebellion to quell. So whilst he was there he picked up some of the locals as scouts and bullet catchers. Two of these remain in the form of  a Van Saar and Orlock by the names of Chipsh Clintmeir and Bolly 'sideburns' Zamgel. Both are fiercely loyal to the Inquisitor and have so far survived many of the horrors of the 41st millennium.
 
Chips & Sideburns

Necromundan Young Scuts
Also collected from Necromunda were two waifs picked up during some of the many gang fights Jao witnessed. Both were against the aforementioned cults and both showed great bravery and an equal amount of savagery. Little Nutski (Goliath) and Stabgelina (Esher) were initially constantly trying to kill each other, but an hour in the pain glove soon redirected there aggression into more constructive channels.

Little Nutski and Stabgelina

Archaic Astra Militarum Device
Rarely seen on the 'modern' battlefields is the multimelta weapons team. Seen here without the operatives, the multimelta weapons team was thing during the Rogue Trader era. As it now, due to the vagaries of  progress it now has a range shorter than most basic weapons meaning any engagement the weapons teams are picked off before they can contribute to the battle. Hence multimeltas are generally mounted on vehicles that can stand up to massed lasgun fire.

Often deployed with 30 or 40 operatives to maintain firing rates during skirmishes the Multimelta weapon team is now rarely seen on the battlefield.

Promoted Astra Militarum Troopers
Coming with extra corpse starch rations, the AM special weapons troops are a sought after position. Considered slightly more dangerous than Heavy Weapons duty, but less so than mine field clearing and penal assault troops. Many soldiers with average shooting skills and a resistance to plasma burns are assigned the double edged sword that is plasma gun operation. Often the hero (posthumously), of a battle, these brave souls can punch holes in ceramite (heretic and otherwise) and oftentimes provide the coup de gras for a reeling commander once his infantry bodyguard is brought down by the emperor's flashlights. The two below will be joining Cadians or Krieg squads and the poor old Catachans are trusted with plasma weapons apparently.

Troopers Bunko and Sharlatan
Grenadiers
Next are some Valhallan grenade launchers who will almost constantly over dressed in the balmy jungles and sweaty urban battlefields that I generally play on. Hopefully one of my opponents may create an artic table so they can really appreciate their extra tog duffle coats.

Troopers Fluey, Shuey & Pooey.
Nork Deddog Stand In
An old metal Ogryn has been finished to a) enable me to field a unit of six, and b) use Nork Deddog for a close combat oriented Catachan force that will be using plenty of legends unless the Adepticon models preview has loads of shiny new Stracken and Harker models. Not much to say other thab he may also find employment and an augmented Bone'ead from the new Crucible of champions supplement.

Ready to Smash for the Emp!

The Whole Gang.


So that's all folks. Hopefully some of these models brought a warm fuzzy feeling of nostalgia to the gamers of my vintage and for those who haven't seen this sort of thing, maybe a bit of wonderment, and yes, these models do hurt when used as weapons. So until next time, happy hobbying and be excellent to each other.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, 5 November 2025

Deathworld Flora & Fauna ; Archon Subsector Gribblies

 Greetings all. As part of my plan to become a influencer and stop having to work for a living I've tried to pretty up my terrain. So here are some bits from Dungeons & Lasers Encounters kickstarter from a while back, along with some fanciful text to amuse, 

The Blue Sepsis Fungus

The Blue Sepsis Fungus, or BSF originates from the planet Encounters in the Sulka IX system in the Archon sub sector. It grows in the wooded areas of the huge forests on the main continent there and has little value, but two remarkable properties. Firstly, it's spores are of such a microscopic size that many of the original colonists died of a infection similar to sepsis with very little clue to how it occurred, the second notable property is it's incredible resilience to fungicides and other less sophisticated methods of extermination. BSF have even been unwittingly transported to other Imperial words from Encounters to such an extent that eight Imperial worlds have regular BSF culls and subsequent martyrdom barbecues after the events.

Two Imperial pest officers attempt to engage a mature BSF .


The Insano Nut

The Insano Nut is also from Encounters. They are large seeds that grow in abundance on the planet and have a highly palatable taste and high yields. The nutrients found in the nut can aid cognisance, concentration and have a mild anaesthetic effect aiding workers to continue labours up to 21% even after semi debilitating injuries. It can also benefit problem solving and cause a 6% increase in inquisitiveness. Despite these unwanted effects there is another reason the Insano Nut is not as popular as it could be; main problem with the Insano Nut is in a small percentage of the populace, it causes violent psychosis. Administratum figures for the occurance varies but figures estimate between 8% and 11%. This is not enough to cause a product ban but in most cases canned foodstuffs exported off world are required to have the following dislaimer ; WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS AND MAY CAUSE VIOLENT PSYCHOSIS AND/OR CURIOSITY. IN THE EVENT OF VIOLENCE CEASE CONSUMING . IF SYMPTOMS PERSIST CONSULT AN APOTHECARY.

Two Imperial pest officers attempt to apprehend an Insano Nut.

Devil's Cabbage

The Sulka IX system boasts several planets hosting dangerous xenos plantlife but on the 2nd moon of Encounters is the home of Devil's Cabbage. Or to be exact, research facility 71234, is where Xenobioligist Capsa Thunn decided to combine the dna of sand clams, catachan creeper fruit and terran iceberg lettuce. The somewhat inevitably predictable disaster led to the death of every person at the facility and an unhealthy infestation of this highly aggressive mobile vegitable. Of course the Imperium being what it is, and it's citizens, what they are, Devil's Cabbage managed to get off the moon and into several dozen ships headed for other Imperial worlds. So now we have cross pollination of these vicious face eating vegitables that by some horrible chance taste delicious pickled. There are even rumours of underground gambling dens where ambitious gluttons take on Devil's Cabbage in eat each other competions for large rewards. 

Pest officers attampt to bring down a Devil's Cabbage.

The Snappy Aloe

Another vicious inhabitant from Sulka IX is the Snappy Aloe. What was first found to be a large leafed plant with anaesthetic properties, with particular efficacy with regard to promethium burns. At approximately the same time as this discovery the Imperium discovered and immediatly went to war with a small humanoid xenos race called the K'Muk whose main method of waging war was the use for incendiary devices. So with minimal due diligence Snappy Aloe (or at that time mere Aloe Giganus) were swiftly exported to several systems to create plantations of these useful plants, stretching out for thousands of hectares. As the war dragged on more and more Aloe were planted and harvested. The K'Muk were eventually defeated and although useful the Aloe Giganus were deemed surplus to requirements and culled. This created a change in them. Xenobiologists have since discovered a latent psychic ability that meant all of the hundreds of millionss of Aloe felt the death throes of each plant, in their defence these alien flora sprout tendrils with a a strong beak like flower that has the ability to attack if provoked and this they did. The culling teams were systematically killed themselves as were any humans with similar genetic profiles. To this day there are dozens of outbreaks of Snappy Aloe attacks every Terran orbit, and on one planet - the once agri-world of New Abundance is now off limits to humanity until an anti plant crusade is mounted.

A reletively small Snappy Aloe about to attack.

Bullet Briars

Bullet briars are another plant from Encounters and is dangerous but not to the same extent of some of the other plants in this article. They are a prickly stemmed botanical that (like many alien plants) gave the impresssion of being benign due to their abundance of sweet fruit berries at their roots. The trouble with bullet briars is their thorns secrete a phytotoxin that is extremely painful, a pain so intense that it has been likened to being shot, hence the name. If untreated these toxins can cause agonising death but only in about 15% of cases. One interesting  consequence of this plant is Astra Militarum regiments from Encouters have a higher than normal pain tolerance due to the ubiquitous nature of bullet briars, thus making them ideal assault troops. This has been a source of great pride on the planet apart from the Encounterean 34th whose pain tolerances were deemed so high that they were classified as mutants (or worse) and liquidated. Bullet briars have since become a widely used hazard on Astra Militarum transports for the training of new recruits with only a few instances of them reaching planets to cause significant loss of life.

Two Bullet Briars about to be assaulted by Imperial pest control officers.

So that's all folks! Some vegitation to inhabit my jungles and forests with or without causing casualties in game.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, 29 July 2025

Regimental Standard and Warp Spiders

 Greetings all. Here's another one of those updates that may waste approximately 4 minutes of your time or slightly more if you read slowly. So on we go with the time wasting;

Current bearer of the banner is unlucky Chav Marbles. What he lacks in arm mobility he makes up for in enthusiasm.

Friday, 6 June 2025

Astra Militarum Reinforcements With Wings And Sharp Boots!

Greetings, just a quick update with regard to my Astra Militarum army getting a bit more fighty. Tempestus Aquilons to steal objectives from the unwary and Bullgryns to clog up the midboard with their resilience.


Aquilons

After playing in Shanecon 24 and not losing any games I was awarded these for being a bundle of joy at the event. Now they're painted up I hope to make Shane (and all my other regular opponents) regret it. I took the pics in direct sunlight in the attic so apologies for not waiting until dark.
 

Ready to drop down and give enemies of the Imperium hot laser death!

Bullgryns

These are an Etsy purchase, I bought them as I had been getting my arse handed to me in some boarding actions games with my Astra Militarum, but that ends now! T6 with 4++ and a fnp with damage reduction should put the cat amongst the Death Guard! I like these models as they look like Bullgryns that are on an Imperial Navy ship, and I can also proxy them for other things as they don't have any features. Money saved, as they can be Grotesques, huge mutants or even undisclosed aliens for some wacky homebrew Rogue Trader spectacular!

There is something fishy going on with these Bullgryn helmets, the sergeant has three eye holes!

And this sergeant has one! A cyclops or another Adeptus Munitorum cock up?

So that's all folks. Expect a battle report with me extolling the virtues of these units and saying how great they are or equally possibly I get them wiped out in short order and inevitably going looking for my next big strategic thing.

In any case thanks for reading!

Sunday, 4 May 2025

Deathworld Flora & Fauna ; The Spiny Abberration

Greetings. The following is an intercepted transmission from famed xenobiologist Zarp Mekradol of the Rogue Trader fleet belonging to  Agusttil The Flamboyant, currently exploring the Mantic sub sector of the Eastern Fringe.

The Spiny Abberration


Since entering the sub sector several encounters were made with an enormous xenos species that we have yet to determine it's original homeworld. It is large, immensely strong and resilient. Possessing a rudimentary intellect allowing them to communicate and follow simple instructions. Our first encounter with one was during trade negotiations with a member of the semi-aquatic species called the Guldphish. The creature seemed to be acting as a bodyguard and posed a threatening sight during the proceedings. We had a squad of Catachan Jungle Fighters as our bodyguard whereas the Guldphish merely had the Abberration. When trade negotiations broke down the creature lunged at Agusttil when the xenos merchant showed agitation. Luckily, it swiped the head from a servitors head before attempting to attack the Rogue Trader. His teleportation device removed him from the scene and the Catachans exacted retribution on the trade delegation with grenades and lasguns. Sadly none but sergeant Croker barely survived the engagement and the Imperium is currently at war the the Guldphish empire.

Thursday, 27 March 2025

The Big, The Bad, and The Abomination.

 

Greetings, or whatever. Some progress has been made and I now feel compelled to inflict it on you, the accidental reader. So without additional preamble, here is what I done lately.


Simple Jim

I bought some Etsy Ogryns a while back as I was tired of getting my Astra Militarum Army's lunch money stolen as soon as the close combat phase arrived. At the moment all I have done is a single Ogryn Bodyguard who had his first outing against a Necron Starshatter detachment whereby he was the last man down in the game (except for some sneaky Catachan weapons teams), so I am pretty happy with him. I have 9 left so I can (eventually) field two units of Bullgryns (6 and 3) or even 3 units of 3 if I'm feeling saucy! In any case for now he is the loyal protector of my as yet unnamed Cadian Castellan of the Aarjas Peacekeepers, my current AM crusade force. As I'm feeling expansive, this particular Ogryn was originally part of a voidship crew's anti-boarding response team and on occasion a space hulk expendable nuke delivery crew. Thus he wears a uniform more like Navy Breachers, than official Bullgryn troops. So hopefully he can soon be featuring in battle reports where he rips off tau legs and beats the rest of the team to death with the wet end.

Simple Jim, Bullgryn Extrodinaire!

Friday, 14 March 2025

The Battle of Salt Storm: Straken's First Hoo-rah!

Greetings. I have deceided to try to rekindle my batrep habit. The game was played a couple of weeks ago but storm Aowyn but a halt to that by tearing doen trees and leaving myself and many thousands of others in Ireland without power. So enough about real life, it's time to retreat into my fantasy world.

Inquisitor Jao of the Ordo Astartes was on the Imperial planet Almyrós tracking evidence of a full tactical squad of Adeptus Astartes that had apparently turned renegade and departed their chapter. They were from a Blood Angel successor chapter called The Blood Swillers. His spy network informed him that a sizeable force of Blood Angels, led by commander Dante himself had landed on the planet. He was then  sent a curt message to desist any attempts to track the renegades as it was effectively being taken over as a Blood Angel business. Jao then decided to meet and discus the matter with Dante in a settlement known as Salt Storm due to it's proximity to the vast sodium granule desert and subsequent regular weather phenomenon . In accordance with his elevated suspicion he commandeered a force of Astra Militarum as an escort and arrived to find the blood Angels arrayed for battle. Without waiting for the Astartes  to attack Jao gave Commander Straken the order to deploy and thus the Battle of Salt Storm began.