What I did on my Holiday. AKA The Battle of Hangover Hill.

Once again I headed over to sunny Essex for a weekend at my buddy Matt's house. The purpose was ostensibly for a 40th surprise birthday party but there was a lot of drooling over models and a lovely big 6000 point game of Warhammer 8th edition with a hangover to be played. So without further ado here is the Warhammer Porn!

A rather large scratchbuilt standard on a Palanquin jockey.

More Daemonics!

Undead made to make your mouth water!

Yes, three steam tanks and two war wagons.

Mucho Empire Characters.

The picture below has one of my favourite models in it, and it was scratchbuilt by Sculptureman himself! It's like a big chaos creature mated with a toilet and an unpleasant offspring was the result. Also some Forge World Ogres and GW Nurglings occupy this photo.

Forge World Chaos Ogres and a scratchbuilt Chaos Spawn

More Daemons.

Dark Elves and Chaos cocktail.

More Undead and a little bit of Empire

Sadly my iPhone photos really don't do justice to these models. It really is a joy to go over there and gawp, slack jawed and all the pretty things. Matt has extensive (more like humongous) armies of Undead, Empire, Dark Elves, Beastmen, Chaos Daemons and probably a few others that I've forgotten. Until such time as Matt decides to document his collection this will have to suffice.

The Battle of Hangover Hill

The following collection of words are based on a rather enjoyable game that was played the day after the 40th birthday party. Matt took 6000 points of fabulously painted Dark Elves, I took 3000 points of Skaven and my accomplice Barry took 3000 points of Orcs & Goblins. *Barry was also charged with bringing all the luck, as he is notoriously fortunate, particularly on the gaming table. As I mentioned before, I was badly hungover and in that state my brain functions weren't at their best. My army list comprised of a Grey Seer on a Screaming Bell, Plague Priest on a Furnace, an Abomb, Doomwheel, 2 units of Gutter Runners and loads of Clanrats, Slaves giant rats and Plague Monks. there was also a BSB in there too. What I didn't **bring was the Storm Banner, a cheap-as-chips Warlock Engineer with Doom Rocker and/or Death Globe or any of the other dastardly Skaven stuff that some non-Skaven players bitch about. I did remember to pack a Plague Banner though. Barry took some ***Mangler Squig's, Doom Divers, a massive unit of Savage Orcs and Grimgor Ironhide with a hefty unit of immortals plus assorted Goblin units.
Matts army consisted of (****as far as I can remember): 3 units of Witch Elves (the largest horde had a Cauldron of Blood in it, just to make it even more appealing), a big unit of Sisters of Slaughter, 2 large Executioner units, 25ish Blackguard with Kouran, Morathi, 10 Doomfire Warlocks, some Shades 2 chariots and some chaff hunting Dark Riders. There was also some crossbowmen and a Kharbydiss.

We played on an 8' table to accommodate the plethora of painted models and we set about rolling dice for table edge and whatnot. Matt lost the dice rolls giving him table edge and setting up second privileges and who places their infiltrators first (all Barry's skill), also the whose vanguards vanguards in the vanguard, but we lost the who goes first roll. Can't win them all I suppose*****. The Spider Riders (that I forgot to mention previously) vanguarded up to the woods in the vanguardery phase, effectively stopping the Dark Riders doing it.

Turn One

Matt's first turn was a bit cagey (let's face it, most first turns are). The army advanced at a reasonable pace, Morathi scooted behind the tower and proceeded to try to cast Soul Drain all game******. I think the Dark elf male mage blew up in the crossbowman unit killing 3 or 4 of them. The Opal amulet, sadly worked on him though. The Dark Elves shooting phase wasn't overly bad -a couple of wounds on the Abomb, a Mangler Squig and maybe 13 points of dead skaven. One fun thing that happened was when the Brolocks attempted to cast a spell I Sivejir's Hex Scrolled them turn the super mobile fast cavalry into movement 1 donkeys.

Our turn was equally cagey with me advancing just enough to provoke some very long charges I angled my Plague monks in such a way as to be able to charge either the smallish unit of Witch Elves or the Executioner unit. The Spiders Riders on 'my' side of the table advanced up to completely block movement of the Dark Riders and Cold One Chariot. The Goblins, Savage Orcs and Immortuls all ambled up with a total lack of animosity. I tried to cast Howling Warpgale but Matt was having none of it. Barry's Goblin cast Itchy Nuisance of the Sisters of Slaughter severely limiting their movement. I let Barry take most of the power dice as each free die he gets from popping mushrooms is very irritating for the opponent. Our shooting was pretty ineffective this turn.

  

Turn Two

There were a few Dark Elf charges, namely a unit of Dark Riders and chariot into the annoying spider riders, they fled (like any self respecting goblin would) allowing a redirected charge into my Giant Rat unit. The smaller of the two witch elf units in the centre charged my Slave bus. The witch Elves on my right charged the Abomb. Had I a musk gland, it might have squirted a bit, but luckily I don't so it didn't. The best part was when the large unit of Witch elves failed a charge. A unit of Dark Riders did a lot of fast cavalry sneaky stuff to get all up in my warpfire thrower team's grill. On the goblinoid end the Dark elf advance was stalled by the imminent appearance of 3 goblin fanatics if any of the highly expensive Executioners went near them. Soul Stealer killed a few more Slaves (so what!) in the magic phase and I think that was it. To my amusement the Brolock that was a toad remained one. I think the Elf male wizard miscast again, killing a few more crossbowmen then dissappearing into the warp! In the shooting phase I had to say goodbye to my weapons teams due to vindictive Dark Elf bullying. A Mangler Squig was cut down in his prime also. Combat went ok, the Witch elves destroyed the Slave unit overrunning past the amused Doom divers. The second Witch elf unit inflicted a couple of wounds on the Abomb who in turn took a rank off them. The Rats vs the chariot and Dark riders ended well enough as my rats withstood the charge and due to steadfast looked good for another turn or two.

Who will win? Charging Plague Monks or Executioners with BSB?

As the forces of the lesser of two evils turn began I had some charges to declare. My Plague Monks into the Executioners, the other Slave bus into the Dark Riders and my small (20 or so) clanrats into the Chariot next to the Kharbydis. The Savage Orcs failed a straightforward charge into the big Witch Elf unit. A unit of squig Hoppers got into contact with the crossbowmen. The remaining Mangler Squig rolled something pathetic and failed to get into combat. My unit of gutter runners emerged behind Morathi hoping to poison her ass off the table. In the magic phase Barry continued his annoying magic assault on the elves whereas I played it cool only not casting anything at all. Our shooting phase did very little at all, inflicting one wound on Morathi and naff all else.Close combat was ok my Clanrats beat the chariot in combat only to have it stick around due to Matt's pesky BSB. The Giant rats held up the chariot and Dark riders for a turn. The I fought the Plague Monks vs Executioners, activated the Plague Banner and tore them a new one! Even with the BSB and Morathi's leadership the Executioners were routed which took the Plague Monks into the flank of the blackguard. Of course if I had started this combat first then the chariot would have fucked off too as there wouldn't have been a reroll, ah hindsight, we meet again. The witch Elves slew the mighty Abomb, only to have 3 rat swarms disgorge themselves in front of them.

So Much Frenzy in the Picture!

Turn Three

This was the make or break turn. with the Plague monks doing a number on the highly expensive executioner unit, Matt had to recoup some points. With that the other unit of Executioners charged the goblin shaman container (taking some wounds from running through fanatics). The Kharbidyss charged in to help the chariot vs the clanrats. The Witch Elf Abomb slayers charged the rat swarms.  The Sisters of slaughter charged the Black orcs and the big unit of Witch Elves avec Cauldron of Blood charged into the Savage Orcs. There was a tape measure fest deciding where Morathi could go and remain unmolested by skaven or greenskins*******. Shooting saw the untimely end of my would be Morathi assassins to pointy elven crossbow bolts. Magic didn't do much either as I recall. Then came the close combat whch had at least 10 units in combat there was going to be an awful lot of ASF rerolls! Most amusingly was, I thought the appalling damage done by the executioners on the Goblins (or the lack thereof). monumentally bad dice were rolled by the elves resulting in a fit and happy Shaman, Big boss and BSB! Also not enough damage was done to even break their steadfast. The Sisters were good, but didn't get any cigars for routing the Black orcs, as indeed they were the ones who fled! Witch elves vs the savage Orcs next, the ensuing cataclysmic murderfest ended in a draw despite well over 35 models took early baths. Over on the Skaven end the plague Monks caused bloody mayhem on the Blackguard and the only thing that stopped them fleeing was Kouran. The slightly less dramatic fight next door (chariot,Kharbidys and Clanrats) went badly for my lads but not enough for them to rout. The witch elves wiped out my free swarms overunning into easy charge range of the bell. The final combat (Dark riders, Chariot and giant Rats) ended as another draw and the packmasters (by means of attrition) were getting uncomfortably close to danger. 

A smallish unit of Witch Elves about to take some Death Frenzy love.

As the majority of units were in combat there wasn't many unengaged units, those who were (black orcs and Slaves) charged into combat to get some! The Black Orcs flank charged the ********Executioners, the slaves into the Blackguard. The Clanrats pushing the Bell ambled into the now presumable exhausted Witch elves. In the magic phase Scorch was cast from the Bell (killing 3 Brolocks including the Toadlock). They routed. Death Frenzy was cast upon the Clanrat unit, bringing the number of attacks up to a goodly amount. The only thing left on our side that could shoot was my Gutter runners and they plinked off a couple Corsairs. As I limbered up my dice throwing muscles for combat Matt conceded as he really wasn't in a position to win the game and we had to go off and get a *********curry! Handshakes all round then.

The rather big scrap in the middle saw the death of Dark Elf ambitions in this game!

Conclusion

Well I haven't played a game of Warhammer that big for a long time! It was a total blast. Tactically most of the things I tried to do went well, Barry's luck did it thing also. Matt had some poxy luck too. Our two units on either flank (my Giant Rats and Barry's Goblin unit) withstood a lot of damage, holding up things that I really wouldn't want creeping around my rear! Despite my army list being not overpowered (except perhaps the Plague Monk sledgehammer). Another thing that helped was me not having total control of the magic phase, the Goblin shaman got casting nearly everything he wanted too with near impunity due to him popping magic mushrooms all game. I suppose the biggest mistake I made was the order I did my combats in turn 2, had I started on the Executioners first I would have also routed the Chariot giving me a charge on the Kharbidys with my clanrats, not really game changing as it turned out but making me seem a bit less like a hungover dweeb. So now I can cross off winning a game of warhammer against Dark Elves with Orc & Goblin allies off my hobby bucket list. Who knows what is next? Find out in future episodes.

Thanks for reading.

Battle of Charnel Pitt (Skaven vs Orcs & Goblins).

Grey Seer Kraklich was not happy. The Council of Thirteen had sent him to the decrepit stronghold of Clan Pusfoot to aid them against a large force of Orcs who laid claim to the above-realm near their under-fortress Mount Cractanckle. There was a nasty smell of fungus in these constantly damp tunnels and with it the distinct tang of snotling dung. His mood was soured further as his thoughts strayed back to his own warren in Skavenblight and the deluxe breeders he had delivered barely a week ago. The Orcs seemed interested in an area close to the entrance to the warren where many of Cheiftain Gurbucks overambitious underling's remains were routinely dumped after various failures. The Orcs were to be warned off away from the area, with great pain and suffering.........

The following Battle Report is of a game I had last week against Orcs & Goblins. We played a typical Battleline game of 3000 points.
My Skaven army consisted of the following:

The Chittering Horde

Grey Seer Kraklich
Screaming Bell, dispel scroll, Rival Hide Talisman, 1 poxy warpstone token
Spells: Plague, Skitterleap, Wither,Bless With Filth.

 Army Standard Bearer Gussek Pustail, Banner of the Underempire, Poisoned attacks, tail weapon, halberd

Cheiftain, Mungik Pustail, Ruby Ring of Ruin, Poisoned attacks, tail weapon, halberd

Warlock Engineer, Skuk Halffur, Warp Energy Condenser, Level 1 wizard
Spell: Warp Lightning

Warlock Engineer, Bang Blacktail, Doom Rocket, Dragonbane Gem,

39 Clanrats, full command, Warpfire Thrower,

39 Clanrats, full command, Warpfire Thrower,

39 Stormvermin, full command, Warpfire Thrower,

39 Slaves, musician, Pawleader,

39 Slaves, musician, Pawleader,

39 giant rats, 5 packmasters,

7 Gutter Runners, poisoned weapons, slings, deathrunner,

8 Gutter Runners, poisoned weapons, slings, deathrunner,

12 jezzail teams (split into 2 units),

Doomwheel,

Plagueclaw Catapult,

Warp-lightning Cannon.

Against me:

 The Smelly Unwashed 

Black Orc General, Sword of Swift Slaying, Crown of Command,

Black Orc Army Standard Bearer,

Night Goblin Mage (level 4), Arachnarok Spider,

Savage Orc Shaman (level 2)

Black Orc Unit (horde)

Savage Orc Unit (horde)

Orc boys (probably 30)

Orc boys (probably 30)

Night Goblins (with fanatics) 25ish

10 Orc Boarboys

3 River Trolls

2 Boarboy Chariots

1 Bolt Thrower,

1 Stone Thrower,

1 Goblin Doom Diver

Sorry I'm a bit vague about numbers, next time I'll snag the army list. To be honest I don't like to snoop other peoples army lists (and vice versa) as there may be a cunning trap that didn't get sprung which can be used in a future game.

Set Up & Deployment

Due to a series of unfortunate events (that would, in my opinion make a good name for a book with a movie tie in) I was running very late so I asked Phil & Stuart to set up the terrain & I would just pick a side when I got there. Terrain pieces of note were A Sphinx, A Charnel Pit (where the cheiftain dumps his half eaten opponents) and a hill with an Anvil of Vaul. As I had a fair idea I'd be facing trolls I thought that was the place for me! We deployed one unit at a time and unsurprisingly I had more units (13 to be exact - The Horned Rat will be pleased). Despite Stuart's fewer units he did me the kindness of rolling lower than me so I could get first turn (very decent I thought). 

Some skaven ready for the off

My army looking beautiful

From the other angle

Deployment

Turn One

Grey Seer Kratchclatch felt an unmistakable swell of  power as he saw the masses of skaven clustered around him, the hulking rat ogre ringing the bell also gave him great confidence. The large unit of black orcs gave him food for thought though. Perhaps I'll let them come to me. Chittering orders he sent the slaves to draw fire. Bong! The Bell rang and despite his express orders to stay back, the  moronic clanrats shoved the Screaming Bell forward narrowly missing the Warpfire Thrower in front. with that the battle of Charnel Pitt began.

Turn one was reasonably straightforward. The skaven advanced with a couple of units, but mainly natural skaven self preservation meant very few units advanced. Ringing the Screaming Bell resulted in it being shoved forward barely missing the Warpfire Thrower team in front of it! Of the spells my wizards had only Skitterleap was cast (with Irrisistable Force killing a few clanrats), sending the Doomrocket owning Engineer behind the Savage Orcs. He fired killed 8 or 9 Orc Boys I think. Jezzails on the left killed two boarboys, a few more casualties were caused by the Plagueclaw catapult & the Warp Lightning cannon.

Skaven Turn 1

 The Orcs moved up. Well everyone except the River Trolls who failed their dumbass test, so they ambled forward a couple of inches. The filthy goblin shamen cast Itchy Nuisance on my Doomwheel reducing its random movement down to d6", which put a severe spanner in it's works, figuratively of course. Some shooting from the war machines killed a few clanrats and the bolt thrower shot the warlock engineer , hitting and wounding but luckily only causing the one wound so he survived!

Orc & Goblin Turn 1

Turn 2

Turn 2 started a charge declared on the bolt thrower by the now rocketless Warlock Engineer.The Gutters Runners arrived punctually on the Orcses backline ready to sling poison death with wild abandon! The Doomwheel trundled a mere inch or so meaning it didn't reach the orcs unit (curse you goblin shaman!) so the only combat was between a wizard and a goblin war machine crew (the stuff legends are made of). Or so I thought, as during the magic phase the Screaming Bell destroyed the bolt thrower,doom diver & rock lobber in one fell swoop. Plague was cast on the black orcs killing some but that was the only spell in range. I had rather stupidly moved my other warlock engineer out of 12" needed to Skitterleap around the place, it was a mistake I would rue, a lot. Shooting killed some more boarboys and such and the Plagueclaw catapult killed some more black orcs with it's flaming pots of magical pukey goo (courtesy of the anvil of Vaul) which I thought should have a negative modifier on any leadership test due to the complete wrongness of the stuff. With the paradoxically diseased yet cauterising gloop being hurled around my second turn ended. 

Skaven Turn 2

The orcs charged a lot into my slaves and Doomwheel effectively destroying both. The orc chariot charged mt warpfire thower on the right, which was supposed to burn it, cause a panic test that it was supposed to fail, making me look smug, but unfortunately failed to wound the bloody thing! The warpfire thrower on the left misfired I think, that or it is completely positioned wrongly on the diagram making it hard for me to discern its fate. The now 6 orc boar riders charged the jezzails on the right whom with a decent stand & shoot got them down to 4. 3 Night goblin fanatics were released when they approached within 8" of my slaves but amazingly none rolled over 7" to actually hit them (the fanatics then proceeded to spin around for the rest of the game being nuisances.

Orc magic was unmemorable for me, I think the Night Goblin Shaman took a wound from a miscast but I can't remember from what.
Orc shooting consisted of the Arachnarock model shooting my brave Warlock Engineer to death.
Orc hand to hand phase went well for them, destroying the Doomwheel, a unit of slaves and a Warpfire Thrower. The giant rats were locked in combat with the trolls, but the best thing to happen is the orcs boar riders bounced off the jezzails, losing combat by 1 and fleeing! It was then I realised the jezzails must have been using pool balls in socks or some other unpleasant weapon.

Ors & Goblin Turn 2

Run Piggy Run!

Turn 3

Now this is where the diagrams stop making as much sense as I'd like but as long as the gist of the battle is got then we're still cool, right? Charges were clanrats on the savage orcs, slaves on the orc boys and the stormvermin on the chariot that killed my Warpfire Thrower on the right. It's at this point that I have to admit how poorly I used both the Stormvermin Unit (my only proper combat unit) and Warlock Engineer. The Stormvermin faffed around and never achieved anything mainly due to being kept away from the centre of the battlefield by the flaming, magical war machine carnival that I had placed in their way. The Warlock was wasted as the only spell he had Warp Lightning is a magic missile spell that can't be used in close combat. D'oh! Added to that if I had taken him out of the unit of clanrats he may have riddled with the Nehkaran Sphinx & gotten Loremaster of Death magic which would have been so cool. I also didn't move my Grey Seer unit as there were fanatics whizzing about in front of them (forgot to put them in the picture) so the only spell I could cast was again was Plague so the Black Orcs & night goblins got some more of that.
Shooting was the jezzails wiping out the fleeing boarboys, the other jezzails and gutter runners shooting the Arahnarok (killing that nuisance of a shaman). But not the big bloody spider though!

Close combat resulted in the Stormvermin barely defeating the flank charged chariot, breaking it and destroying it. All the other combats were nasty attritional things. one thing of note was the skavenslaves actually won combat against the Orc Boys but due to the proximity of the general wouldn't oblige me by running.

Skaven Turn 3

The Orcs boys charged into the flank of the ever so slightly steadfast clanrats. The Night Goblins and Black Orcs moved up.
Magic was uneventful as the Savage Ors Shamans spells failed to get through.

  All the combats were stalemate except the Savage Orc/Orc Boys/Clanrats orgy that ended up with some fled and dead rodents.

Orc & Goblin Turn 3

Turn 4

There was little movement on my behalf as the only unengaged combat unit was the Stormvermin and they were in the middle of nowhere. Magic was pretty unimpressive. My jezzails put a couple more wounds on the big spider and that was about that.

Close combat saw mt slaves explode and the trolls wiped out by my rats. Yay! The orcs pursued into the jezzails (not so yay!).

Take that trolls

Skaven Turn 4

The remaining Boarboy chariot charged the warp lightning cannon (in a way I was glad because the stupid thing had misfired twice) and destroyed it with impact hits! The one remaining Night Goblin charged the Screaming Bell unit. The Orc Boys destroyed the jezzails on the left. The Night Goblin got crushed by the Grey Seer. Then I overran into the Black Orcs (yea, I now realise I'm not supposed to) so we fought another round of combat. The Black Orc general failed to wound my grey Seer . My Clanrats won the combat against the Black Orcs but unfortunately the general had the Crown of Command so he didn't run.
It was now pretty late so game over.

Orc & Goblin Turn 4

The game was pronounced a draw. I lost 880 points. Orcs & Goblins lost Rock Lobber, Doom Diver Catapult, Bolt Thrower, Boar Boy Chariot, Trolls, boarboy unit (10), Night Goblin Unit & a shaman. whatever that adds up to around 700 I reckon. As neither score is double the other everyone's a winner. Or a loser. Anyway thanks to Stuart for another great game. My next post will have my conclusions from the battle. Thanks for reading!