The Battle for Elfburger Hill

I had the pleasure of playing a visitor to our fair shores recently in preparation for a couple of WFB tournaments I will be attempting to attend this year Spring Showdown and Vaticon. A new opponent, a friend of Stuart, also called Stuart. To avoid confusion I will just call him Stuart 2.0.

My Glorious Elven Host

 Lords 

Aradel Moonbeam - Spellweaver  Staff of Sorcery,  Talisman of Preservation,  Tormentor Sword, Asrai Longbow, Level 4, Lore of Heavens, Unicorn

The Elf with No Name - Glade Lord  Daith's Reaper,  Dragonhelm,  Potion of Foolhardiness, (BRB) Talisman of Endurance, Asrai Longbow, Great Eagle, Hand Weapon, Light Armor, Swiftshiver Shards]

 Heroes 

Grimmerdill The Vain - Glade Captain [(AB) The Helm of the Hunt, Asrai Longbow, Asrai Spear, Battle Standard, Elven Steed, Light Armor, Shield]

Mizzard Woddle - Spellsinger  Dispel Scroll, Obsidian Trinket, Elven Steed, Level 2, Lore of Beasts

 Core

16x Glade Guard, Trueflight Arrows, Standard Bearer.
8x Glade Riders ,Glade Knight, Hagbane Tips
8x Glade Riders, Starfire Shafts, Standard Bearer

Special

6x Sisters of the Thorn ,Champion, Sisters of the Thorn, Standard Bearer.
3x Warhawk Riders, Wind Rider.
6x Wild Riders,Shields,Standard Bearer , Banner of Eternal Flame.
5x Wild Riders ,Champion,Shields

 Rare
5x Waywatchers

Filthy Dwarf's I Hates 'Em

Stuart 2.0 had three units of Clansmen (or whatever they're calling themselves these days) a unit of Hammerers, 2 Gyrocopters, 2 Organ guns, 2 cannons, a Grudgethrower and a couple of heroes, lots of runes scattered throughout as well. Sorry for the vagueness of the list but I'm sure I will add any pertinent stuff as I go along.

Set up and other things

Stuart 2.0 had brought a Games Workshop battleboard over and with some nicely painted scenery and it really made a pleasant change from the flat green table that I'm used to. Stuart 2.0 won the roll to pick sides and castled in the corner (bottom left of picture below). He also won the roll for the first turn. I either failed to wound or completely forgot my Arrow of Kurnous. My vanguards moves were pretty much non existant (probably my first mistake). My general plan was to shoot up the dwarfs then hopefully sweep round using the buildings as cover, hopefully breaking a unit to get through to the artillery. 

Set up after vanguard

Turn One

The Gyrocopters moved like big flying clanking metal sharks belching smoke and other greenhouse gasses (so in actual fact nothing at all like sharks), ready to inflict steamy wet death on the elves. Squirted all over the waywatchers killing 3. The organ guns opened up killing the remains of the Waywatchers (that'll teach me not put them in the building). The Grudgethrower misses the spellweaver and the cannon hits her! Luckily her ward saves her! End of Dwarf turn one.

Start of Wood elf turn 1 (not sure why the Waywatchers are still there).

In my turn my Unicorn rider charged the Gyrocopter as Stuart 2.0 had slyly placed it so that he was out of the charge arcs of all my combat troops. Magic was, ruined by the uncooperative short ones. The only spell I did get through was Irristable Curse of Anhrair on the Gyrocopter which also fried 2 Sisters as well.During the shooting phase I found out I hadn't moved my Glade Guard close enough to shoot the artillery so I couldn't get at the WMD's that Stuart 2.0 had! Shooting was very ineffectual! No dwarfs were harmed in the making of this shooting phase. On the plus side mt Spellweaver routed the Gyrocopter but due to a severe bout of Artilleriphobia didn't pursue and it got away. A mistake, I think.

The brave little gyrocopter

Turn Two

The fleeing Gyrocopter fails to rally and keeps on chugging away from me. The other Gyro moves in such a way as to line up some Glade Guard for murderous death. Some dwarfs shuffle forward, pretending that they will move out of their little corner of the battlefield. Typical dwarf magic phase. Dwarf shooting phase more unpleasantness! The brave Gyrocopter kills 5 Glade Guard but they don't care. The organ gun kills another 2 I think - after devious dwarven rune shenanigans stops it misfiring and blowing up like any decent  piece of artillery does! The Grudgethrower causes 2 wounds on my brave little warhawks. 

Wood Elf ambushers & Dwarf Dead Pile

Elf turn 2 wasn't very chargie. My ambushers came on the table. I got a good roll on the magic phase 6-5.  Wind Blasted the nearest Clansmen into the hill causing minor inconvenience (ha ha, take that you fiends!). Iceshard Blizzard took a wound off the cowardly Gyrocopter. Wyssan's was cast on the Warhawks giving them a decent toughness of 5 hopefully to weather an organ guns wrath. Uranons Thunderbolt was cast irresistibly but failed to do any damage - the mage detonated but luckily no one was close enough to notice. My shooting phase was pretty crap, a wound taken off a Gyrocopter and a couple of dead Clansmen. We were getting to the charge of the light brigade part of the game - if I can weather the filthy dwarf guns for the next shooting phase - shit will get real!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww poop

Turn Three

First annoying thing first - the Gyrocopter rallied. In his movement he does a flyby over the Glade Riders malevolently dropping a bomb as he goes - only to drop it as his feet (tee hee). I'd like to point out that this was the most exciting and enjoyable dwarf magic phase I have ever witnessed, but it wasn't so I'll just skip to the shooting side of things. 4 Glade Riders were steamed to death. My warhawks were set upon by both organ guns and the cannon valiantly soaking up all the shooting and dying equally valiantly! The Grudgethrower dropped a grudge right on the head of the elf mage, but luckily it was a polystyrene grudge that failed to wound.

Dwarfs can only do one impression, but its a good one

Now I am generally not one to whine about the vagaries of dice, especially in a game using them but sometimes, when you want a big turn after some horrible arse kicking from artillery it just sometimes makes me think my opponent is in league with the forces of darkness and his pug is just a demonic familiar trying to hex my dice with his fake affection. Anyway, I had my general and 3 Wild Riders within easy charge range of the far right Clansmen in the photo above. My general charges in, all guns blazing so to speak - only to find that the Wild Riders who were supposed to have his back didn't as they couldn't roll over 6 on three fucking dice! Perhaps then, magic might save me 2 - 1 magic phase and Stuart 2.0 channels. Wyssans didn't get cast and my general was in against a ranked up dwarf unit. Crap. Another Clansman died to elven archery and the annoying little Gyrocopter was shot down too. My general was armed with Daith's Reaper which I think is an awesome weapon (rerolls  misses, wounds and enemy's sucessful saves) unfortunately for me he fight a Thane with a 1+ save so very little was acheived. Upshot was he lost combat by 2, but luckily no fucks were given!

Wood elves do not appreciate the dwarfs impression of a brick wall

Turn Four

The dwarfs to the left of the fascist Clansmen fail their charge (thankfully). The Gyrocopter kills 5 more Glade Guard. The organ gun kills off all but one in the Wild Rider unit accompanying the BSB and Beastsinger. The other organ gun kills 3 wild riders in the other unit (leaving 3). The Grudgethrower kills 5 Glade Riders and finally fucks are given and they run. The cannon shoots and hits the Unicorn riding bint but her ward saves her (charmed life so far).

The Elf with no name expresses his displeasure

My movement phase was getting shorter and shorter. The Wild Rider unit finally charged to the aid of their general. The BSB and Beastsinger charge into the unit to their left and a unit of Glade riders leave the table to go and get reinforcements. I moved my Glade Riders into a (hopefully) annoying position to stop the big hammerer unit raping my Beastsinger. The Unicorn rider moved into a position to hopefully get at the artillery. A 5 - 4 magic phase had 3 spells dispelled and Harmonic Convergance destroyed. The depleted remains of my Glade guard take a wound off the Gyrocopter. In close combat the wild Riders cause 6 wounds getting destroyed in the attempt, The dwarfs lose combat but don't run due to being annoying. The BSB combat is a loss to the elves but proximity to the general means they stick around for at least one more turn.

GROWN MEN OF WARGAMES - INDICATING AND MEASURING THINGS!

What's left of the wood elves get stuck in

Turn Five

Due to a horrific combination of geometry and pacts with the Devil, Stuart 2.0 charged both the Beastsinger and conga lining Glade Riders. The only other movement was the Gyrocopter but to be honest I'm sure it should have run out of diesel by now. The organ gun unleashed 16 shots on my Unicorn rider finally killing her. 2 Glade Guard are killed by steam routing them (amusingly they start running towards the dwarf hill). The vengeance bolt on the Grudgethrower shears off,  rendering it useless for the remainder of the game. The other organ gun and cannon removes the sister unit rather effectively. Mr Oathstone himself kills the Beastsinger, the Glade Riders flee! Hammerers reform. The BSB vs the shield dwarfs (dwarfs with shields as opposed to something else) duke it out causing a wound each. No one runs. My general is still having an awful time getting through the runesmith's armour. Loses combat but remains where he is.

Wood elves get bored of the dwarf wall impression and decide to leave.

In my turn the fleeing Glade Guard continued fleeing towards the enemy, the Glade Riders rallied. BSB combat - 2 dead dwarfs but plenty more where they came from. My general finally kills the runesmith, Nearly falls off his eagle in surprise but stays where he is.

Turn Six

The cowardly dwarfs charge my BSB in the flank. The Organ guns destroy both the fleeing Glade Guard and not so fleeing Glade Riders. BSB dies to underhand tactics. The General takes another wound and due to his exhausting battle with the runesmith breaks. Unfortunately a dwarf must've grabbed his eagles foot and he only goes 6", the dwarfs catch him and so the last elf on the battlefield is slain!

Conclusion

Well that was a lesson in how to play as dwarfs! I think I made a few mistakes, turn 1 not pursuing the Gyrocopter was one. Bringing on glade riders within ranger of a perfect shot from a steam gun. I should've charged the Unicorn in to the aid of the general in turn 3 or 4 which might've actually helped break the dwarf facists. At the same time my plan was ok, sweep round the buildings hopefully break a unit of dwarfs to get to that lovely artillery! I honestly think if the Wild riders had cooperated with me on turn 3 and charged the Clansmen, my wild rider champion would've accepted the challenge (possibly killing the runesmith due yo his ST5 armour piercingness) leaving the general to slay with abandon!

So to wrap up all I can say is thanks Stuart 2.0 for a really fun game, also being a pleasure to get hammered by and I'll get my revenge next time (hopefully). Also, keep the demonspawn away from my dice!

The demonic familiar that I beleive is the cause of my defeat!