In The Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, There Are Petshops

 Greetings all, it's February already and no new content! Well gaming is still a pipedream but you'd think I could get some stuff painted at least, well yes and here it is: 

Imperial Military Personnel

First up is Commissar for my Astra Militarum force, as I generally use Catachans, who dislike the whole 'shoot you if you run away' vibe, there is not a huge benefit to them as Catachan commanders improve the grunts leadership anyway. This particular model was one of those ebay buys where an arm was missing, a plastic guardsman arm, Orlock boltpistol hand and greenstuff epaulettes made him virtually indistinguishable from his mates down the Commissar pub. Bar one thing, I decided not to give his bolt pistol hand a ludicrous cuff like the one holding the axe. This may result in ostracism and possible *swirlies in said pub's latrines but I stand by my sculpting decision.

Welcome to the 41st millennium Commissar Graper

Next is my proper Oldskool Inquisitor. I love this model, very menacing. Carrying weird (possibly alien) weaponry, this guy has to be Ordo Xenos. Or possibly **Ordo Astartes . He wears a metal mask and presumably a Darth Vader type heavy breathing amplifier. It is also highly probable that his voice is very much like James Earl Jones, and nothing like Hayden Christensen. The truly expert Oldhammerers out there will no doubt notice the non standard back pack and cloak combo. This particular Inquisitor has 'borrowed' it from the old Leman Russ model from the Rogue Trader era. I think this really does mean he is Ordo Astartes after all.

Colony 87 Inhabitants

The Colony 87 range contains some cracking sculpts, not really military but fascinating models. Two alien socialites Syra & Ustina that share a base, are useful hostage type models, a street vendor that apparently sells algaeslurps and gronk burgers will add some flavour to my dioramas. To the right of him is a alien pet merchant, this is a brillant model that oozes character, finally an alien customs officer who to me would be better off as advertised as a human meat exporter. Whatever his job I like him.

Here's something unusual, a baby in the 41st millennium, accompanied by a Nan-O-Bot. It looks harmless enough, but I'm sure it has plenty of anti kidnapping devices. The baby itself has a motorised pram that probably has shielding and a turbo to help protect the progeny of the rich and famous in this grimdark universe.

NAN-19 protects Gustabule Threnp III from harm and nappy-rash.

As if a baby in a pram isn't weird here follows a small boy of probably no more than 8 terran orbits carrying his robot comfort toy and a waif pickpocket who is probably only an orbit or two older. she has a pet ant that may or may not help her rob the gullible of whatever urban metropolis she inhabits.

Kids these days!

Alien Pets

Now to the title of this blog post, alien pets! These are also colony 87 models supplied by Crooked Dice. Once again, not sure how I will use these on the table but I did enjoy painting them so it was an en devour well spent. In the first picture there is a Testudo bird and a Squippet. One is a rather stupid flightless bird and the other one some sort of empathic emotion amplifier. 

Testudo Bird and Squppet

Next is a Horned Urz cub and a Maran-Tchi. The cub seems to be wearing a Hannibal Lector type hockey mask and appears to have no horns (not even rudimentary ones). I painted him up with purple fur as any Rogue Trader era gamer would know, a Cthellian Cudbear has purple fur, so a RT scenario featuring the cub's mummy looking for it could mean painful clawed death for any part time alien zookeeper participating in said scenario. The other alien pet, the Maran-Tchi is some sort of sentient fungus. How anyone would form an attachment to such a thing is beyond me but perhaps is lets out puffs of hallucinogenic spores making it the ideal pet for stoners and mystics.

  

Horned Urz cub & Maran-Tchi

The next two are from the second Colony 87 wave, the Vermilepus and Feathered Cameleiod. The first is some kind of insect eating vertibrate and the other is a bird lizard of some sort. Both smack of genetic jiggery pokery so probably created during the Dark Age of Technology. Also probably have xenos warnings on them too.

Vermilepus and Feathered Chameleiod

Below is a nude cherub type thing with a stub gun and a haemonculi. The first one is out of production so it seems when they said they were only casting 100 or so of these, they meant it. The other is available on the Crooked Dice website. The little cherub guy (he definitely is male) could make it onto the table as some sort of daemonic/alien assassin. The other could be some sort of Fantasy Island assistant to a planetary governor, or even a court jester.

Little & also Little

Finally from the Crooked Dice stable are some Owl Shrews, Karaculac and Feathered Hopper. The Owl shrews were an add on for the kickstarter and seem to be a rather quick and simple sculpt. That said I'm quite liking them for their simplcity. They could also be part of a RT scenario where the Owl Shrews are let loose at the starport and they start munching their way through security systems, expensive luggage or criminals restraints. The Karaculac is basically a space cat, easily proxied as a Gyrinx but this one has a very smug face that probably deserves a slap, but if it has poisoned claws this might be unwise. The feathered hopper is a rich kids of Instagram type pet, where it's fancy feathers are a show of opulence. Of course it strikes me as a ransomed pet scenario could work or even a poachers going into the jungle to make some dosh to fund rebellion type activities might be fun.

 

Owl Shrews, Karaculac & Feathered Hopper

Dodgy Mean Machine Clone

A freshly painted model to join the fold is this cyborg type who has more than a passing resemblance to one Mean Machine Angel. It is available from Knightmare Miniatures along with loads of other brilliant sculpts. This gut can probably fit into the Necromundan Underhive as a memeber of a Servitor Advocacy group or as and out and out thug. He was given a ***"NO RAGRETS" tattoo but it was 100% clear so he has now become a poster boy for the Sex Pistols with "NO FUN" on him instead.

Unpleasant Contrivance Seraphim

I also gave him an anarchy emblem on his ****denim jacket but I sort of ballsed it up. I don't think I will repaint it until everything else is done (some time around my 97th birthday).

Rear view of the anarchist.

Tiny Citadel Models On Individual Bases

Some time in 2010 I had been playing Warhammer Quest with some of my younger relations and thought that snotlings and nurglings would make fun (non lethal) encounters for adventuring parties. 11ish years later I finally get round to finishing said models. As this post is about 40K pets I think the snotlings can count as some sort of vat bred semi sentient critter called a Bollix. Bollixes are affectionate but foolhardy creatures that bumble around their owners (whom they form great emotional attachments to). A lifespan of 5-6 terran orbits and low cost to breed  mean they can be deemed as disposable pets. Unfortunately, (there always is, in the 40K universe) there has been  instances of Bolloixes breeding in the wild and without the socialisation that comes with human contact, they can be considered feral. Feral Bollixes are malevolent pests that individually are no match for humans but a litter of 15-20 can cause terrible havoc to unprepared civilians.

Three Bollixes

I also thought that single Nurglings in Warhammer Quest would be tricky but not fatal encounters, but in the spirit of all things pet-like I will now create a new species called Slimers. Originally found in the Jungles of New Tahiti in the Consternation system, Slimers are, once domesticated practical and docile  pets. The single most striking attribute of a Slimer is it can consume nearly any form of material without creating much waste. Indeed this was one of the main selling points of many pet store salesmen, that the Slimer will reduce the need for waste disposal. Slimers get their name from the copious secretions from their various orifices that is a by product of their unusual digestive process. After widespread exportation of Slimers certain criminal organisations discovered Slimers could dispose of bodies at a rate that defied their small stature. What wasn't forseen was that once fed on human remains they became addicted to them and rather vicious if they weren't fed cadavers. This resulted in several well publicised 'incicents' where criminal gangs had their numbered decimated during times of peace. Inevitably this resulted in many Slimers released into sewage systems and becoming a minor threat on civilised worlds.

Two not Nurglings

So there you have it, my first finished models of 2021. Not many can be recruited into military employment, but quite a few can be seen wandering around the oddball scenarios of the 41st millennium.

Everybody say 'cheese'!

Thanks for reading.

*Commissars are known to be very cliquey and not at all unlike the cast of Mean Girls, so heads flushed down toilets of the 41st millennium are quite common.  

** Ordo Astartes is a newly formed branch of the Inquisition that deals with the widespread proliferation of Space Marines and their wanton slaughtering of other Imperial forces. One such Inquisitor Heidee Molases has estimated that one in three battles any marine chapter is involved in is against loyal human troops who have been attacked for no apparent reason, other than 'looking at me funny' according to many Astartes battle reports. 

*** A reference to the movie 'We're the Millers'.

**** Who'd thought denim would still be worn in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium?