Wednesday 29 February 2012

Suckling once more on the dark tit of Games Workshop!

Well its finally happened to me again! I just ordered the latest warhammer rulebook (8th Ed). I've been painting a lot and reading a lot of Bat Reps, tactics and army lists, and just generally tormenting myself with a rules I don't understand so I just buckled and went to GW online and spent €60,€45 of it from paypal. I am pointing the blame at the Catholic Church and their Lentan denialfest that has me off Alcahol and Chocolate for the next 34ish days! Were I fully beered and chocolated up my resistance to a €60 book that I have 3 previous editions of, would have maintained at a healthy 'No, sorry love, I'm married' level. I'm sure I'll get the book by Mon-Tues next week and then I'll know what the whole fuss is about!

Sunday 19 February 2012

The Seven Realms of Ni' Ghiollarnath


Some of the greatest games you can play are campaigns, a campaign is simply a linked series of battles where you play the leader and make the decisions for it. A bit like a film or a soap opera in which you are starring. Sometime around 1995 I started to run a fantasy campaign. There were seven players and a controller (me). It started as a Mighty Empires game, but soon I devised so many new rules and changed existing ones that it soon became my own baby. The game lasted for about eight (game) years over many months. As is commonly the case with such things people couldn't maintain their enthusiasm and the game sort of petered out. I enjoyed running it so much that I vowed that it would rise again! As I spent so much time creating the game I thought I would put it "out there" to see what kind of reaction I would get. The seven players controlled the following factions: humans, barbarians, orcs, dwarfs, wood elves, dark elves and demon worshippers. These races battled for supremacy in the world I created and shaped the world. I think this project will take a considerable length of time to transfer from scribblings on scrap paper to a coherrent game so your patience is requested. So here we are, the Seven Realms of Ni' Ghiollarnath, a campaign setting. 

Daxia

Daxia is the largest and most prosperous realm. The population is predominantly human. Vast plains and a long coast make food plentiful. Daxia is actually made up of nine provinces that make up this realm, they are Blarse, Daxia, Krieglund, Labomartii, Longshore, Reachveldt, Trabaagh, Theldeg, and Yengar. Each realm is semi autonimous and provides troops and weapons for the defense of the realm. Also on the borders of Daxia are several independant city states that are so well defended or innaccessible that it is not worth the huge cost to subdue. Daxia maintains on friendly terms with the dwarfs to the east. An uneasy truce is kept between Grikai (northeast) and Shendul Pacre (north). Border skirmishes and raids are a constant threat from the Cren Lar to the east.


Shendul Pacre

Shendul Pacre is the second largest realm and arguably the most agressive. Large tracts of forest are the home of the elves that live there, while fertile plains make great breeding grounds for the mighty herds of elven steeds. Many of the deep forests contain vast wealth in the form of Geasawood, a tree that is startlingly easy to enchant, making it much sought after by all the races of Ni Ghiollarnath. To the west lies the Vale of the Lost Ones, a rather unpleasant neighbour. To the southwest is Cren Lar and sporadic fighting is the norm across it's borders. Because of the exhausting war against the barbarian invaders to the north and west the once enormous armies of Shendul Pacre are greatly diminished. Only to the south is there relative peace.

Cren Lar: The Bleak Coast

The furthest west of all the realms, Cren Lar is an elven land that is the main naval rival to Daxia. Many years ago there was only one elf realm but two elven princes Kephoire and Thesalmin could not co-exist peacefully in Shendul Pacre, so Thesalmin ventured east with his followers and founded Cren Lar. Thesalmin was resentful of his older brother and this resentment turned to hate. On many occasions the two nations have been at war and now so much blood has been spilt that reconciliation is now impossible. An alliance with the people of the Vale of the Lost Ones allows the elves of Cren Lar to devote their time to the destruction of both Daxia and Shendul Pacre to the east. Unfortunately for the elves of Cren Lar, their long coast is quite often raided by pirates, fishmen and barbarian freebooters from the north. On the borders of Cren Lar and Daxia is the city state of Therncote, a place of legend. In the times of nation founding Therncote was invaded by the elves of the west and the humans of the east so many times that it was said the elders of Therncote had revolving banners depending on whose army was the nearest. Now free, the city boasts a large population of half elves and a steely determination to never again feel the tyranny of oppression.

Prahklamsuia: The Vale of the Lost Ones

Up in the far northwest lies a small realm of semi-humans. They live in a few coastal cities that are almost constantly raided by the elves of Shendul Pacre. There is a strict cast system in Prahklamsuia. Demonborn, Demonkith, Demoncursed and Speakers. Magic use is commonplace in the higher caste - Demonborn and the bulk of the military is made up of Demonkith. Demoncursed are little more than slaves, while the Speakers are religious fanatics. They lanch raids via they sea to enslave Daxians and occasionally attack the elves of Shendul Pacre. The alliance with the elves to the south pose a very real threat to their eastern neighbours.

Crag Targ: The Realm of the Tribes

Not a nation as such, the Tealm of the Tribes is a loose alliance of barbarian tribesmen. They are human but tend to be much larger than those of Daxia, the menfolk are regularly over 6 and a half feet, and the women generally are the height of an average southerner. They also tend to be far more muscular and resilient. A common rite of manhood is a sucessful cattle raid into either Krieglund (the northernmost province of Daxia) or Grikai. The tribesmen's culture is based on plunder and as a result inter clan skirmishing is commonplace. To the southeast lie a long chain of mountains that act as a barrier between Crag Targ and Grikai, with only a few passes, the most notable is called "The Gouge". To the southwest is the border of Shendul Pacre and the river Tannog leads through the plain of Aurochs into Krieglund. Long ago a bloody war between the barbarians and elves denoted both nations boundaries, but now as the tribes seek more plunder hostilities have restarted.

Grikai

Thousands of years ago an invading horde of orcs from the east enslaved the once pleasant land of Noromere and the humans that resided there. Centuries of interbreeding has heralded the birth of a new race the Grikaan, or half-orcs. Called mixbloods by many, the half orcs are surly and unfriendly, they have a particular hatred of purebred orcs and spend a great deal of time and effort trying to eradicate them. Despite their efforts many tribes of orcs live in the mountains to the north, and regularly raid southwards. Their society is ruled by those of near-human blood and to this end many slave raids are sent east to Daxia to obtain blood brides. To the south lies the Ironlands which is home to the dwarfs and the Grikaan's bitterest foe.

Ranknarthod: The Iron Lands

Not so much an empire but more an interlinked series of fortress cities, that lie in a large highland area, close to the sea. Each city fortress delves deep underground and therefore house far more dwarfs than would first appear. These Dwarf's have an uncontrollable lust for gold and a hatred of all things orclike and as such are constantly at war with Grikai to the north. They are staunch allies of Daxia and both realms prosper due to mutual trade and defense. The only other hazards are from long range raids from Cren Lar, but these are usually fended off with relatively small losses.


Saturday 18 February 2012

Something for the weekend?

As I'm in a bit of a Warhammer mood I have to share these: Forge World - SKAVEN WOLF RATS . I like them a lot, well more than a lot. A bit pricey at £32, so I'll proxy them for now with some old goblin wolf riders that I will have to prise off their backs! the rules are pretty cool and at 16 points each with 2 wounds and a move of 8" they look like the sort of thing I won't be able to resist for long!
Nasty looking buggers!
If that isn't bad enough the Brood Horror is even more erotic! This thing is far too good a figure for me to cock up painting, especially with a £42 price tag. Still if I lay enough hints around fathers day I might get lucky. Here's hoping anyway.

Friday 17 February 2012

The Bushwakkers

Here is my most successful gang, the Bushwakkers. They got to be very powerful but I never had a 'retirement game' for them, so it is entirely possible that I may take them out for a massive tear up in the future.



The Bushwakkers

The Bushwakkers are an Orlock gang that were outlawed and despite the loss of income thrived. Their arch rivals were a Van Saar gang called The Psi Judges, they were the ones to get them outlawed, and this act caused a long feud which exists today. One of the main reasons for The bushwakkers success is they are an incredibly 'shooty' gang,with many members able to pick off enemy fighters in the most difficult conditions. The other reason is they once looted an archeotech hoard belonging to the Van Saars. This led to some rather extravagant purchases, an autocannon and a heavy bolter and two heavies to carry them. I think they would be best used now as 'bogeymen' as they are perfectly capable of taking on large gangs and reducing them to small ones in a few turns. Anyway here they are.........

F.O.C.

F.O.C. joined the gang as a juve whilst they were still "legal" and has risen in the ranks to become the gang leader. He is quite inexperinced for a leader but is a fearsome shot with his trusty plasma gun. F.O.C. has no intention of buying off their guild price as he is having too much sucess as an outlaw. He may well change his mind if things go sour.






F.O.C.
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 2 6 3 3 2 3 1 9
Skills: Dive.
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Plasma Gun with Infra Red Sight, Choke Grenades and a Respirator, Knife.
Cost:170 Exp:109

 

 

G.W. Monkfist

G.W. Monkfist is the most experienced member of the gang, and in all probability the deadliest. As deadly a shot as F.O.C. and the best hand to hand fighter, Monkfist is one of the most dangerous outlaws in the badzones. Armed to the teeth, it's a lucky fighter that encounters him and comes out unscathed.

G.W. Monkfist
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 5 6 4 4 2 3 2 7

Skills: Crack Shot, Fast Shot, Killer Reputation, Nerves Of Steel.
Injuries: Head Wound.
Equipment: Lasgun with Hotshot Power Pack, Plasma Grenades, Choke Grenades and a Respirator, Knife.
Cost: 145 Exp: 285.

 

 

Jerome Gratis

Jerome joined the gang around the same time as F.O.C. and they are great drinking buddies. Another fine shot, Jerome is often seen sniping alongside Monkfist. He has seen plenty of death and has recently been getting a lot of trouble from an old wound that incapacitates him regularly.


Jerome Gratis
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 3 5 3 3 2 5 1 6


Skills: Catfall, Fastshot.
Injuries: Old battle Wound.
Equipment: Lasgun, Plasma Pistol, Knife.
Cost: 90 Exp: 98.

 

 

Limpy The Loser

Poor old Limpy has a bullet in his leg that causes him constant pain which makes him surly and arguementative. He is called the Loser as he is a terrible gambler. He was, until recently the nearest thing to a heavy in the gang due to his expertise in maintaining his weapons. Both resilient and a great shot, Limpy has found his place in the gang, near the back letting those less sensible to fight the other gangers.


Limpy The Loser
WS BS S T W I A LD
3 4 5 3 3 2 3 1 6

Skills: Feint, Rapid Fire- Lasgun, Step Aside, Weaponsmith.
Injuries: Leg Wound (left).
Equipment: Lasgun, Stub Gun, Knife.
Cost: 60 Exp: 132.

 

 

Hagar Snipe

Snipe is another ganger who started as juve and worked his way up the pecking order. Another incredible marksman, he has been known to shoot the cap off of a bottle of wildsnake from 70 metres. He is the only gang member with some medical expertise, and due to the nature of the Bushwakkers, he is seldom idle. Hagar is an incredibly versatile ganger and his impressive skills are a testament to that. All in all Hagar Snipe is the ideal ganger, capable of most tasks his leader sets him.


Hagar Snipe
WS BS S T W I A LD
4 3 6 4 3 2 3 1 6


Skills: Hipshooting, Killer Rep, Marksman, Medic, Nerves Of Steel, Rapid Fire-Shotgun, Step Aside, True Grit.
Injuries: Horrible Scars.
Equipment: Shotgun with Hotshot, Manstopper and Bolt Ammo, Knife.
Cost: 85 Exp: 233.


 

"Death Or Glory" Roari

Roari is one of the original members of the Bushwakkers, and a bit of a close combat specialist. Partly because is his skilled in the application of physical violence and partly because he is blind in one eye Roari is just better suited to slugging it out with other angry young men. He is ambidexterous and has been carrying around a pair of old stub guns since he started out and seems loath to exchange them for something more accurate. Until he does, he seems doomed to end up fighting hand to hand with enemy gangers until he meets a superior fighter.


"Death Or Glory" Roari
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 4 2 4 4 2 5 1 8


Skills: Counterattack, Crack Shot, Gunfighter, Parry.
Injuries: Blind in Right Eye.
Equipment: 2x Stub Guns with Dum Dum Ammo and a Silencer, Knife.
Cost: 90 Exp: 201.

 

Zeno

Zeno is a new recruit for the ganger with some fancy weaponry. He was hired as back up for Roari with the hope that he will pick up a few tricks from the master.


Zeno
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 3 3 3 3 1 3 1 7


Skills: None.
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Bolt Pistol, Knife and Sword.
Cost: 80 Exp: 21.

 

"Big" Brett Corleone

"Big" Brett is a dependable gang fighter who is gradually becoming a very dangerous fighter. Armed with his trusty shotgun he is often found to the forefront of most gang fights, where enemy gangers soon find out he is a very capable scrapper. He can be a bit twitchy but he is still useful to have in the wastes.

Big Brett Corleone
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 4 3 3 3 1 3 2 7


Skills: Parry, Rapid Fire - Shotgun.
Injuries: Shellshock.
Equipment: Shotgun With Manstopper Rounds, Stub Gun, Knife.
Cost: 60 Exp:66.

 

Jertzy Bollofsky

Another long term ganger, Jertzy has the scars to prove it! Armed with a pair of battered laspistols Jertzy is one of the gangs point men. That is when is old battle wound allows it of course.

Jertsy Bollofsky 
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 4 3 3 3 1 3 1 7


Skills: Counter Attack, Rapid Fire- Laspistol, Step Aside.
Injuries: Impressive Scars, Old Battle Wound.
Equipment: 2x Laspistols, Knife.
Cost: 77 Exp: 42.

 

Gumby The Mass

Gumby was a heavy without a heavy weapon when he joined the 'wakkers. With impeccable timing, he was one gang fight in when they looted an archeotech hoard. Subsequently a shiny new heavy bolter was procured and now Gumby wants nothing more than to put it to use!


Gumby The Mass
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 3 3 3 3 1 3 1 7


Skills: None.
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Heavy Bolter, Shotgun, Knife.
Cost: 260 Exp: 70.

 

Body Bag

Body Bag is a juve with a lot to prove, he joined at the same time as Gumby, but without the reputation, hence the poor weaponry. His name is a joke based on the survival rate of previous juves, but he is hoping that will be more to do with the casualties he will inflict.
Time will tell.....
Body Bag
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 2 2 4 3 1 3 1 6
Skills: None.
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Stub Gun, Knife.
Cost: 35 Exp: 6.

 

Bad Gary

Gary joined the gang as the second heavy and has yet to establish himself. Armed with a massive autocannon, he should soon be racking up the casualties.
Bad Gary
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 3 3 3 3 1 3 1 7
Skills: None
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Autocannon, Laspistol, Knife.
Cost: 375 Exp: 61.

 


Victim

Victim is the latest recruit to the gang and his name is another cruel joke. He is yet to fight for the gang and when he does he is expecting to hurl himself bravely to the fore. The unfortunate thing is, he may not be around for long if he does.


Victim
M WS BS S T W I A LD
4 2 2 3 3 1 3 1 6
Skills: None.
Injuries: None.
Equipment: Stub Gun, Knife.
Cost: 35 Exp: 0.

 

Territories

The Bushwakkers have only one territory, a settlement called Sheet Creek, which they guard jealously. They also have a slaught dealer called Jakks, who gives them some extra go for their juves!

Stash

The stash contains 275 crdits, a flamer and 3 doses of slaught.

Guild Price

The 'wakkers guild price is currently 331 credits, but F.O.C. has vowed to get it to a thousand!

Gang rating

The gang's rating is currently a very healthy 2794. As you can see the Bushwakkers are a very powerful gang with plenty of disposable cash to improve further. I think the next thing for them to do is take out an Enforcers Precinct House or make a break for it off world. Whatever they do do, I'm sure it'll be with a bang!


Monday 6 February 2012

Tales from the Battlefield

After my last game or Warhammer and the resulting collection of school boy errors, stupid tactical moves and sheer crap luck I started thinking back over the years to some of the other things I (and my opponent) have done and I just felt the urge to share them. I will describe them in reverse order of importance/ridiculousness and what if any lessons were learned from them.

Suicide Warlord and The Heart of Woe
40K The Genestealer Marathon
4000 Points on a 4 x 4 table
Cataclysmic Screaming Bell Meltdown
Tyrion's Get Out of Jail Free Card
Verminlord the Happy Woodcutter

Suicide Warlord and the Heart of Woe
I was in Games Workshop Thurrock and the Skaven army list had just come out during Warhammer's Second incarnation Circa 1993. I was using my beloved Skaven and I was playing undead. My thoughts on undead were: kill the general, they all die. This was mostly true, if the general of the army did die then most units crumble to dust. So I devised a fairly cunning plan, get my warlord into combat with his general chop him up, but to be on the safe side give him the heart of woe (basically a suicide bomber) and if the general kills my warlord the resulting explosion will take out the aforementioned Vampire/Liche/Necromancer. My opponent, Lord Farquad (name changed) unfortunately was also aware of this weakness in the undead army and was prepared for it. I Skitterleaped my Warlord general into close combat with Nagash (stupid) and unfortunately back then both sides could cast spells in the same magic phase, equally unfortunately Nagash proceeded to chop my warlord to bits with his big bloody sword killing him with the aid of Vanhel's Dance Macabre! Even more unfortunate was the fact that Nagash made his ward save with the Golden Helm of Atrazar, and half my army legged it with the death of the general. The resulting battle was a terrible massacre where the forces of Undeath laid some serious bitchslap to my furry hordes.
Two lessons were learned there
1) A suicide bomber only works if it is a low value stooge and 2) Against undead skaven need the highest possible leadership!

40K The Genestealer Marathon
Another game from the dawn of time was a game of 40K (Rogue Trader rules) that I played in Games Workshop Maidstone. I was using a Tyranid army against Space Marines (I'm sure this game helped contribute to my eternal hatred of Space Marines). My opponent kept hassling me about what army I was going to use and as the shop had a decent Tyranid force (and I was working there) I decided I'd use them. This unfortunately had a rather spooking effect on General Grevious (name changed) who scuttled off to create an uber anti creepy crawly army list. On the day of the battle General Grevious begged me to play on a 8' x 4' table lengthways (!!!!!). Partly because of my view that a happy customer spends more dosh and of my hugely inflated opinion of my own generalship like a fool I agreed. The resulting turkey shoot was a joy to behold (for him) and a series of unmittigated disasters (for me). Trudging up 6 feet of table with not enough cover and missiles raining down of my brave critters was a humbling experience! One particular moment of ecstasy came when two full tactical squads of Marines threw Haywire grenades in front of them halving charge moves just as I was going to start ripping up the fleshbags! Needless to say this was as one-sided a game as is possible and it was all my own fault! Had we played the proper way I at least would have put up a fight! If Hive Fleet Behemoth had behaved like this then the Tyranid threat would've been over before it could even get started. On a positive note I played a game against Eldar using virtually the same army but the way nature intended and got a resounding win.
Lesson learned: Under NO circumstances will I ever play a game along the length of the table. EVER!

 4000 Points on a 4 x 4 table
Another game of Warhammer, this time it was almost the opposite of the last one. I had a 4000 point game on a 4' by 4' table. This was my valient Skaven against sly, sneaky and altogether tricksy Dwarfs! They don't fight fair at all! The main problem with this battle was the table size (again) but the opposite from the above nightmare, this time the table was too small and my army too big! Back in the old days the Dwarf army had this nasty little thing called the Rune of Being a Sneaky Fecker (or Hiding). This was put on a gyrocopter and in turn 2 it appeared and started parboiling units of Clanrats. With two Runes of Broiling (or something) the strength of the steam cannon was up to 5 so basically every shot defurred 12+ rats causing mucho panic. Plus the fact that Flame cannons started opening up on turn two gleefully barbecuing Plague monks and Stormvermin at will my terribly brave army decided that RUN AWAY! was the order given, so they did in droves. The game was another very one sided battle compounded by the Dwarf player's unwillingness to let me cast unpleasant spells on him. Using my now legendary hindsight the battle was lost as I had big blocks of infantry that simply couldn't help but get in each others way, coupled with loads of template weapons and some pretty accurate Dwarf crossbowing my ranks were well and truly thinned before I could lay some smackdown on his beardthings. 4000 points pretty much meant that my entire deployment zone was full and the only thing to halt the cannonballs, flames, superheated steam and crossbow bolts were my poor little verminous bodies.
Lesson learned: There is a finite limit to the number of figures that can safely huddle in a deployment zone and over 100 points an inch is stupidity!

 Cataclysmic Screaming Bell Meltdown
This episode was, once again featuring my ever present Skaven, and it was against a good friend and long time opponent Matt. He was playing his Empire army (I reckon we must have played 25+ games of Skaven vs Empire) and it was its usual bloody hackfest. we were at the latter stages of the game and my main Clanrat unit with the Screaming Bell was in the centre of the table with a large unit of Skavenslaves and Stormvermin flanking them. There were Matt's prized Knights Panther unit and various smaller units of Empire footsloggers lurking around. I rang the screaming Bell and it exploded causing a ST3 hit with no armour save to everything within 3d6 inches. 73 casulties were caused which decimated the Knights and quite a lot of Skaven too. I can't say this was a particularly bad occurance as to my mind the 8-9 Knights were, in the eyes of Skaven High command, worth the 50ish skaven casualties to get them! The game was still won so alls well that ends well, I suppose.
Lesson learned : Exploding Screaming Bells are fun and in no way should restraint be exercised whilst using them!

 Tyrion's Get Out of Jail Free Card
Another game with Matt, Skaven Vs Empire with some high elf allies, namely Tyrion in a bloody big unit of Dragon Princes. The scene; First turn, I ring the Screaming Bell (this is definately my favourite Skaven toy) and the result was all cavalry models make a panic test, and with Tyrion's Ld of 10 it didn't seem like a big problem. WRONG! Tyrion did me the singular honour of failing his panic test and flee to within 2" of the table edge (woop! woop!)! On to the magic phase and I got the then eqivalent of Irristable Force, Total Power ! The spell Skitterleap was duely cast but in a moment of total brainfart I put a Skaven Assasin in combat with a wizard rather than Tyrion's 800+ point unit and thusly destroying them. The most irksome aspect of this mistake was that Tyrion rallied and helped Matt to get his first ever victory against me and then lose my 14 game winning streak. If I had wiped out the High Elf unit the my victory points would've shat all over Matts.
Lesson learned: Even if you have to write it down to remember, if you can wipe out nearly a grands worth of points for a little spell do it, before you think of a 'better' target!


Verminlord the Happy Woodcutter
This was not so much tactical ineptitude (of which I seem to have plenty) more a serious case of diceclap. This was one of last games of good old 3rd Edition warhammer and once again I was battling with Matt. My Skaven Vs my Wood Elves, I was Skaven and Matt was the opposite of Skaven. The game was going as usual with casualties leaving the table at regular intervals, both sides taking and giving death, it was all going swimmingly. Then we came to a not insignificant close combat between and Verminlord (hard as fupp!) and a Treeman (not so much). Two rounds of combat saw the rather unpleasant demise of the Treeman, and his (or her) collapse. Back then there was an interesting rule that when a Treeman dies in CC then he can topple over and possibly crush anyone dopey enough to not step out of the way and generally much hilarity ensues. Yes, the Treeman dutifully fell in the exact direction that the Verminlord was standing - presumably rubbing his chin thoughtfully selecting his next diabolic plan - so a simple I test will let him nimbly dodge out of the way then cackle maniacally saying something really evil and cool like "Bazinga!". But no, the I test was failed and I had to witness my 600 point deathmachine get flattened by a 280 point tree, he himself chopped down. The icing on this particular cake was after checking the rulebook it turned out the VL was killed, not wounded I might add! The mental image of this scene still makes me (and moreso Matt) chuckle whenever we reminisce about old games. This was the point I should have conceeded the game as the Dice Gods were very obviously mocking me, but I stubbornly played on to earn a closely fought defeat (the width of a Verminlord I think).
Lesson learned: In some games, defeat is inevitable, even with a superior army, tactics and manouvering, the game is lost by those bloody six-sided buggers that I spend so much time rolling, rolling, rolling!

Well there are a few of the incidents that make this hobby so entertaining, frustrating and ROFLing, I hope you found them interesting if not tactically insightful. So here's to my next series of tactical debacles coming to a gaming table soon!