Friday, 23 October 2015

The Slag Valley Bullett, Necromunda Journalism.

The Invention of The Printing Press

I have a dirty little secret. Well, not really a secret just a less frequented blog really. My other blog is a pseudo newspaper based on the goings on in a settlement called Slag Valley in Hive Primus on the Imperial planet of Necromunda. The paper's name is The Slag Valley Bullett (formerly Star). It began over 20 years ago when Necromunda first came out and a good buddy of mine called Dave was the editor (Dave was the only person I knew who had a pc that had publishing capabilites). The first issue looked like this:

It described some of the events in our Necromunda campaign that had us battling regularly for dominance around Slag Valley, Fornication Gulch and the outlying settlements. Sadly only two issues were made but I kept hard copies of them and hoped one day I would have the means to resurrect the publication. The relative cheapness of scanners meant all I needed was a outlet to get it seen. Fast forward about 15 years and I have a pc, a printer, an account on Blogger and some spare time. The result was this:

The Modern Era

 This issue reported on a Necromunda game, a 40K skirmish and my attempts to model underhive creepy crawlies to chew up the unfortunate gangers that inhabit the underhive. Microsoft Works allowed me to make a good stab at proper newsletter and writing the thing is a bit of a laugh too. I found that the paper gave me ideas for things to (hopefully) occur within the game and eyewitnesses gave me inspiration for modelling projects and terrain pieces. Then within the last two years I actually started gaming on a fortnightly basis. This was mainly Warhammer with a few other specialist games. A Necromunda campaign was started but didn't last overly long as the new Wood Elf book came out. Meanwhile another issue was published:

This described the campaign as it was going on and had some amusing anecdotes. A change of pc meant Microsoft Office (I think I prefer Works) and another format change. Games were played, and articles created. One of my favourite parts was the character of my gang leader - Headcrusher of The Sons Of Slagarchy - he was always there to give a quote to any reporter willing to listen. Through him, insults could be given without affecting the facade of impartiality that my publication has. A couple of proffesional underhive eyewitnesses are being created at the moment - Gubble Hantz - prospector, Purgative Jessop - delivery man as well as Jessop's sump mule - Bessie. Also, other characters to give accounts such diverse inhabitants as Ole Hairy Jeb - crazed retired miner, Legless O' Shockaknossey - semi crippled security guard and Madame Fung - entrepreneur and masseuse.


Lately we've played a few games of Infinity (excellent game) and Bloodbowl (also excellent). Incorporating both into the Bullett was easy enough - as Infinity is a special ops type game, I referred to the goings on as industrial espionage uphive - and Bloodbowl just went in there reported upon by Dag Uterous  newly created sports editor. For the fluff purists, what I have done is heresy, but then there is an awful lot of it about in the 41st millennium!

Issue #7

The Staff

I'm also having fun naming my reporters. Aurelis Charga, Cuckold Stranglethorpe IV, Polac Greis : business editor, Dag Uterous; Sports Editor, Bespoke Kitchens, Pastor Pyranium Devout, Ricco Chunk, Ludley StangeCrippet Toe, Chagg Munsk, Skotk Jagerbloom, and Spatch Puberty are all contributing to the Bullett. I seem to have enough reporters now that I can send them out as a gang in their own right! I'm planning to make models for some of (if not all) these journalists to make objectives/hostages for future games.  

It's a bumper 2 page pamphlet!

For The Future

I've started getting into Inquisimunda (a Necromunda skirmish type game that represents small groups of Inquisitors, their retinues, bad guys and dice rolling. This will definitely mean more underhive  shenanigans but at the same time not totally on the planet of Necromunda. I also have a hankering to play 40K once more and more often than not, large battles don't sit well, fluffwise in Hive Primus. So I came up with a solution. As mentioned is issue #7 The Bullett is being syndicated by media moghul Gholam Jhites which means the Slag Valley Bullett may be absorbed into a new publication - The Imperial Chronicle - a galaxy wide journal of the events that shape the Imperium! This enables the reporting of information from every corner of the galaxy! So if I fancy doing an issue of Rjinn's World Agricultural Journal I can, or if the Catachan Botanical Monthly have a few interesting articles they will get some publicity too. So for all you bloggers out there why not try some real life (not real life) journalism to enhance your gaming experience?

Thanks for reading, and until next time stay frosty!

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future - The Are No Chiropodists!

Shenanigans with a Dremel, Some Glue and Green Stuff

iTunes is playing Queens Of The Stone Age for me and I'm going to show you what I'm neglecting my adult duties with this week. A while ago I purchased a bag of assorted chopped up models that I thought I could salvage and make new preciouses with. The first contender for lead favourite of the month is an escapee from that very bag! An old Necromunda beastmaster had been victim of Sharia Law as his left arm had been removed as well as his stub gun. A pretty harmless bearded geezer. I gave him a plasma pistol, a green stuff forearm and an old plastic beaky marine's hand. Hey Presto! A valued member of the underhive once again. Put a bit of paint on him and he can be any one of a dozen not-so-innocent bystanders

The Town Drunk

Ole Hairy Jeb
 Next up is a skaven slave  with a Max Mini Ash Junker head wearing goggles and two clawed hands,a bit like lobster boy in American Horror Story (Freak Show). I would like to think of him as a Delaque gone all mutanty Of course he could be a Delaque so deep undercover that he doesn't know what side is normal anymore. Going to the trouble of purchasing a robotic tail and heavy metal hands just goes to show how committed the house is to getting information.

Sneaky Fecker

Squirty Silas

 Hairy and Very Mean

Not sure if this picture has been up on here before but here's and old Rat Ogre with a head swap, a Goliath shotgun and a necklace of ears. Hopefully he will kicking the shit out of normals in the not too distant future

Gack Facesmasher

The Three Evil Stooges

 The next three models came into being when Games Workshop decided I couldn't have units of Warpfire Throwers anymore (the facists). Apparently 24 teams is a bit excessive, So I decided to lop some heads off  and make them into human/mutie pack slaves. These heads are from the Max Mini evil heads pack which I think are very characterful. I think giving them some guns strapped to their packs can give the impression of gun bearers or fighters in their own right. They can also be used as Savlar Chem Dogs for my Imperial Guard.

Semi Rotten Faced Guy

Smarmy Bloke
Of course the excessive hairiness of the models may be construed as rampant mutantism which will get them a swift edification from local Redemptionists, but then who cares about religious fundamentalists in the 41st millenium?

Weak Necked Greg

Horror Movie Guy

 I once took the head off an Empire Light Acolyte to create Little Nug a diminutive gangster, and now I've decided to add to GS love to the remains. I intend to make him into a Redemptionist with an Exterminator cartridge on the sword and either another sword (with Exterminator) or an axe. The mask I started happily for me has started looking like a mask from Scream (or more likely Scary Movie) so I'll be adding hair to the back of the head soon.

Brother Cheap Laugh

40K Bunions

 Last two are also Skaven models that I though would make good Scavvys or just generic bare footed bad guys. Again Max Mini heads were grafted on to ratmen It's ok, I still have hundreds of Skaven that won't be getting abused in the 41st millenium.

AK47s in the 41st Millenium don't kick
 This is the other member of one of the Warpfire Thrower teams. The gun itself has quite a nice Archeotech look to it so he should fit right in scrabbling around the hive torching/polluting/irradiating the Bejasus out of other gangers
This weapon squits something out!
So these models are intended for use in either Necromunda or some other small scale Imperial skirmish game I'm toying with the idea of using these guys as the start of a new gang from the Ash Wastes, as I have plenty of vehicles to chop up and 40K up. What I didn't get to display (due to a combination of poor photography and can't be arsed going back out into the garage) is Bessie the two headed sump mule (featured in the Slag Valley Bullet #2). The extra head is attached, now she needs some baggage for Purgative Jessop - her owner - to lug around from settlement to settlement. I'm also thinking another order from Max Mini is on the cards to make a unit of Attilan Roughriders into Ash Waste Desperados.

Desert heads

Biohazard Heads

So now that I've whetted appetites expect a 4 month hiatus then some painted up Wood elves or something! No, I'm joking (hopefully). So expect some sort of update within the next couple of weeks (or sooner if I can get a kettle in my garage).