Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Last Minute Work In Progress Post

In an attempt to get one more post into 2016 I photoed some items I've nearly finished. The tablet was lying around so I took pics on that. It's not the best but it is the easiest for sharing quickly.

Space Ork Wartrack

First up is my Orky Wartrack. The bike was undercoated grey, then some purple and chestnut ink was liberally applied. Picked out some details and voila! A very nearly finished vehicle that post apocalyptic mutated freaks can happily ride along murdering and pillaging for scarce resources like food, fuel and sunblock. The  metal upright stand will be magnetised so I can attach esoteric items like guns and P.A. systems.
A Desert Hog

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Naked Yoda Orgy!

Well if you've clicked on the link hoping to see some Star Wars themed Jedi porn then you're in for a disappointment.

Vindicare Assassin 

I painted up a Vindicate Assassin to go in my Inquisition Cell. Also my Imperial Guard. Trouble is, I varnished the little fucker and got this awful chalky effect. That'll teach me to varnish in December! I recoated it with gloss and now I'm waiting for a nice 11C sort of day to respray with a matt varnish.

Soon my pretty, soon.

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Raiders Of The Lost Monolith

On their way to Bluescreen, Jenna Pursuivant's Inquisitorial warband received a code blood signal that demanded immediate investigation. The mining planet of Scargill, ever a small backward place of no import sent a distress signal via Astropath. The message read :

+++Inquisitor missive. +++Seismic activity in the settlement of Kinnock has unearthed structure of alien design. +++Local operatives unable to gain entry +++considerable  fatalities.+++ Request immediate Ordo Xenos assistance.+++ The Emperor Protects+++

A mere week passed and the warband made planetfall. Scargill was a dour place with a populace with a sullen demeanor. Little time was wasted with the planetary Governor, one Thatcher Magz, a female, ruthless and cold - in fact the perfect Imperial servant. Interrogator Pursuivant made straight for Kinnock.  Initial scans showed the structure to be of Necron design but that was immaterial. It had to be destroyed for the good of the Imperium. As the Joker's advanced towards the structure another group were spotted coming towards the Monolith from the opposite direction! Treasure hunters, thieves or  gawpers, it mattered not. If they impeded the agents of The Emperor on their lawful business then blood will be spilled........

The Cause of all the fuss, The Monolith!

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

The Great Rogue Trader Swindle

Antikos Karios and the rest of his corsair crew waited patiently. The crew of the Folkvangr were approaching and if they could be swiftly overwhelmed, it would be a simply matter to ransack their ship and take whatever he saw fit. As a pirate crew clandestinely working for the Cliatha Atar craftworld, they were semi autonomous. This attack on a Rogue Trader and her crew was merely some freelance mayhem that, Khaine willing, would net a tidy profit and improve his standing in the League Of Cutthroats - a loose confederation of pirate bands around the Yellowsoul Nebula. Padaxes, his voidmaster was as always quickest to react and set off at a sprint to close with the enemy. A series of Eldar war cries, both Craftworld and Commoragh in origin were heard and battle was joined.... 

More Miniature Action!

Another battle report! This time it's my Eldar Void Pirates (The Moonkillers) against Stuart's Rogue Trader crew, know as the Crew Of The Folkvangr. Our last game was a marginal victory for my Genestealer Coven. Both gangs had fought one game each so it was going to be as fair a game as it is possible in the somewhat skewed world of Inquisimunda.  As is customary, the whole dice rolling rigmarole began, the upshot being Stuart chose the northern table edge  for the imminent Gang Fight. I got the choice of the southern table edge or the southern table edge. I chose the southern table edge. More dice were rolled and first turn went to the Moonkillers.

Monday, 21 November 2016

More Cyber Dags, Outlanders & An Abusive Rat

So I got my paint on again, and here are the results. My focus is still Inquisimunda, but two models with square bases made it into this update. In an attempt to improve the general content of my models, a rudimentary light box has been created and some terrain to add some interest. So anyway, on with the show;

Female Space Civilian

With such a boring title this model shouldn't be overly interesting but I really like it. She's from Moonraker Miniatures and probably at least a 20 year old sculpt. Jewels in her hair and more creases in her gown than you can shake a stick at meant the painting took longer than originally anticipated, but well within a year so kudos to me. She will be making tabletop appearances soon as a damsel in distress or perhaps a (fairly) pretty femme fatale for my tiny soldiers to fall in love with and possibly betray the Imperium for. The slightly feline features suggest some sort of alien to me as well so there are quite a few possibilities for this bint to hit the table.

She's probably up to something!


Tuesday, 8 November 2016

The Fun Run (not for charity)

After thoroughly examining the orb obtained from the Chaos Coven (after 7 exorcisms and 11 blessings) it was determined that it was some sort of transmitting device. Derric, the AD Mech had bio-probed it and came back with the dna residue of creatures from the planet Bluescreen in the system of G'Lare. The Winchester, Jenna's personal ship had to be readied for the system jump. An errand needed to be undertaken. Due to the clandestine approach needed on Bluescreen a short trip to the Midden - a lawless quasi-legal den of pirates and thieves to collect some surveillance equipment was necessary. A large settlement in the moon of Silaris Prime it was ideal for obtaining unusual items for a price. However, there was a problem, there was another party interested in the occular probe drone than Jenna needed. The customs of the Silarian trade guilds meant that if two prospective buyers wanted the same item the group who wants it more is to be traded with. Unfortunately, this involves a rather old Silarian custom called a scavhunt. The rules were simple, whoever retrieved the package from the designated area got to trade with the Silarian merchant Bocul Charramh. Failure meant that no one would trade with the warband and the trip to Bluescreen would be highly problematic. Jenna was determined that the problems would be someone else's.

Hello again! It's that time of the day/week/month that I inflict another battle report on those curious enough to click on one of the many, many links I scatter around the Internet. This week is myself vs Pat. He went for another newly created gang - Rogue Traders this time. He expressed a preference for fighting my Inquisition Cell - Jenna's Jokers, and I complied.

Monday, 31 October 2016

Excreedius' Bad Head Day

Magus Excreedius' plans were coming to fruition, a simple tip off to the Inquisitor Cell regarding a bothersome Chaos Cult down in the bowels of the hive should give his warband enough time to attack and implant a member or two of the Rogue Trader vessel that had just landed in one of the remote loading bays in Sector 16. A swift strike on the unsuspecting humans will not only prove good experience for some of the younger members of the brood, but if some, or all of the crew can be infected then wherever the ship goes, so does the doom of the Imperium! 

The Cult Strikes Back!

This weeks report is a game had with Stuart, long time Warhammer protagonist. My last game was against Pat's Chaos Cult Wyrdfest, this one was Stuart's virgin Rogue Trader ensemble. The warband's name is The Crew of The Folkvangr (there is an accent over the o but I can't find it at the minute). 
They comprise of;
A leader, navigator,techpriest, arch militant, 3 gangers and a rating (juve). All female models from Raging Heroes I think. Here they are.

The All Female Rogue Trader Crew

Sunday, 23 October 2016

A Very Wyrd Grudge Match

Interrogator Pursuivant read the comm slate. Informant bx456R had sent an urgent message regarding clandestine groups getting their hands on a powerful artefact of alien origin. The group was known as The Broken Wheel and were using a large warehouse to hold their meetings. Stored there was the alien item. The data stated that the building should be lightly guarded but swift entry and retrieval would be essential before the entire gang arrives. As there were no new leads regarding the xenos weapon blueprints, this mission would be useful to refocus the warband into something they were good at - killing enemies of the Imperium. 

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

The Emperor's Thumb & Other Miscreants

Hot on the heels of my previous post, you know, the one with the crap genestealer cult, comes this amaaazzing post with regard to paining things up in a timely manner! WARNING! some of the models below have been purchased THIS YEAR and have not sat on my 'to paint' table for nigh on 18 years. I must apologise for this as, no sooner do i rename my blog, I make a complete liar of myself by painting models up quickly. to be fair though, they are not over complex models drowning in their own detail, so that is why.

The Thumb Of The Emperor

Several Halloweens ago I found in the kids costume receptacle a single plastic thumb. This may have been part of a set of ten finger extensions, I don't know, but inspiration struck telling me that it would make a nice piece of scatter terrain for my Inquisimunda games. So I greenstuffed an old base to look like cobbles and this piece of modelling marvellousness is born. 

Bow Down Before The Emperors Digit!
 This piece was quick and easy to make and lends itself to some scenarios for RT or ][munda. A group of chaos cultists want to deface/fornicate over/defacate on 1 the Thumb Of The Emperor. It is up to a small force of Adeptus Sanitorum employees to stop it! Of course as it seems to be made of solid gold various underworld types would want to nick it. The possibilities are almost endless.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

Xenos Incompetence

One of Magus Excreedius' spies had told him of the find. The accursed Robbers Militant had found a large cache of valuable artifacts that could be sold easily to help fund the furthering of the cults ambitions. He thought back to his biological father, the lessons taught from an early age. A senior bookkeeper for a minor slime transportation contractor most lessons were regarding frugality. "Semper my offspring, if our glorious cult is to find success we must do so from a solid financial footing". His thoughts were interrupted when Cruddix, a gnarled 1st Generation Hybrids question appeared in his mind.
 "Magus, shall I send Deekon to the market to purchase ammunition? Bethselemin has informed me he and the others are low, after the incident with the mutated bat-hog.". 
Excreedius pulsed his reply "No, we can make do with what we have. If Aothanp hadn't attracted in it the first place, Gorazk would never have panicked!".
" I have barely enough Throne Geld to feed us for the next moon cycle. We must be a bit more discerning with picking our targets. Move out!". 

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Twelve Go wild In THe Badlands

Another Inquisimunda Battle

My opponent for this evening's dice rolling was Pat, after some Whatsapp messaging over the week I professed a desire to play test the Genestealer Cult list for ][munda and Pat decided to try out an Underworld gang of mercenarys to give me grief. They were called The Robbers Militant and they were a bunch of ne'er-do-wells with the Mercenary background, which meant for 10 TG Juves can get a +1 to either BS or WS. So Pat's gang was like this:

The Robbers Militant

Gaston, human leader, Hunting rifle
Darius, human heavy: Heavy stubber
Jonas, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Lucius, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Elden, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Marius, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Finwood, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Armand, ratling ganger: hunting rifle,
Stabber, beastman juve, sword.
Bruiser, beastman juve, sword.
Cordell, ratling juve, autopistol.
Alexi, human juve, autopistol.
Added to this mix was two hired guns, a bounty hunter and a ratskin scout called Zich. So as you can see, a rather shooty gang, with plenty of infiltrators to boot. I would have my work cut out for me.

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Shifty Goings On In Paraquat

Paraquat, large town on the imperial planet of Krablokistan has always been somewhat lawless, but recently the crime rate has risen alarmingly! The town elders, not wanting to endanger themselves, have decided to reinstate the position of Marshall of Paraquat. Similar to Sherriff or Judge, the Marshall has the power to sentence miscreants the Black Hole of Paraquat - supposedly the hardest jail to escape from on the planet. The newly appointed Marshall is one Viscos Labormarti, ex-Guardsman and former prize fighter.

The Marshall - Viscos Labormarti

One of Viscos' first high profile collars was Strangler Arris, an unpleasant thug with a reputation of violence and a short fuse, also a known substance abuser. The Marshall apprehended Arris shortly after he entered a well documented Spinejuice den. Once incarcerated, it was simply a matter of a kangaroo court and a swift sentencing. Simples. The Black Hole is also known as the Iceberg, as 90% of the facility is below ground. The Black Hole proper is 18,000M below the surface of Krablokistan, and fully automated. The armoured lift is only scheduled to go up or down once a month. Whilst waiting, Arris is kept in the holding cells above ground which are generally the province of drunks and petty criminals. The lift is due to return in 10 days, so time is an important factor.

Thursday, 1 September 2016

The Black Hole of Paraquat

My scenery collection has gone up by one. It's a gaol, or jail. The building itself is on the Imperial planet of Krablokistan. A small strategically unimportant planet left, for the most part alone by the Imperial Administratum. A remote town in Krablokistan called Paraquat is where this building is found. 

The rear of the gaol.

Sunday, 31 July 2016

Outlanders Kickstarter Models & Friends

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away........

I started painting some models from the Outlanders kickstarter, they were some different looking Sci Fi models. They had a bit of a wild west feel to them, so I bought the set. I finished some of them and as is my wont, decided to inflict them on the good people of the internet. So on with the prose...

The Marshall

To be honest this model was what sold me on the range. A lawman who looks like he fits in the grim darkness of the hives of Necromunda, the idyllic farmlands of Nora or any of the other Imperial worlds I intend to play Inquisimunda games on. He looks like he can pass for a bounty hunter, shifty spiv, pimp or many other personages in my games. He has a bright future on my tabletop!

Do you feel lucky, punk?

 The Shaman

This is the shaman model from the campaign. A real native feel to this one, painted up with woodland colours, to be at one with nature I think. A bionic eye and an unusual hairdo, shotgun and some kind of skull on a pole. I'm not sure whether the Outlander campaign has the owner of the skull in a future kickstarter but I'm sure I'd love to see it, it has an immense number of teeth and a nose bone! Simple to do as there wasn't an abundance of overcomplicated things to paint, I enjoyed it. If I was to be critical it would be his right hand, nothing much but has a bit of a crab claw thing going on, but the angle of the hands makes it an unlikely thing to see unless you spend a lot of time faffing around painting it. His uses include, a Wyrd, town elder, and just a hired goon. One can never have enough hired goons I think.

Lopsided Larrybold

Saturday, 16 July 2016

Another Bloodbowl Dwarf Team Post

Trying not to succumb but I may have to purchase the Deathroller in this campaign. My other dwarf team is still awaiting paint love but as anyone who knows me and my model addiction, Lemmy's word ring true ; the chase is better than the catch. In othe news, I deleted my Google + account as it seemed one social media outlet too far. I have also undercoated some of my Sci Fi civilians to wander aimlessly around my as yet unbuilt Spaceport. As any Rogue Trader fan knows, most nefarious acts of sabotage, rebellion, investigation and retribution occur there!

Until next time, adieu.

Monday, 4 July 2016

These Little Piggys......


Yes that's right, got some more figures finished. A warband in our campaign is a Nobilist Faction on an intergalactic safari. Basically some rich kids (and adults) going round hunting wildlife and making species extinct. Because of the grim dark ethos of the 40K universe, there probably isn't much in the way of conservationists, so this type of behavior is actively encouraged.  This had me thinking about the many types of wildlife that can infest an Inquisimunda battlefield causing aggravation to unsuspecting grunts and other higher ranking individuals. I am also involved in the Inquisimunda version 2.1 update and I've been tasked with updating the bestiary. This will be a labour of love as I've been a long time fan of Death World creatures from the Rogue Trader era. As there are now so many excellent miniature manufacturers around finding new critters for your games is a lot easier. So my project at the moment is to collate all the 40K gribblies into one article, give them Inquisimunda stats and points values and try to create a couple of creature intensive scenarios to boot. Not sure of the time frame, but 6 weeks should be an achievable target.

Four Little Pigs

Back when I started playing Warhammer with my Wood Elves beastmasters were a thing and some rather cool Elf running models could be had. Bears, boars, cats and dogs also frolicked along in step with the tree loving hippies. After playing the Catch The Genestealer game on the Agri world of Nora I thought some tough yet not overwhelming creatures would make ideal nuisance beasts. The main feature of Porcines (old Terran food creatures) is they're omnivorous, hardy, and most importantly - very, very tasty. Ideal guard animals that squeal very loudly when approached by unfamiliar people. When roused or threatened they should also be able to mess up a juve or two as well. Worst case scenario they could be trained - Hannibal Lector style to be attack pigs. Whenever I play a game on the infamous ratling planet of Oirlund, I'm sure these guys will feature in it.

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Raiding Slazengers Warehouse

Due to a rather confusing set of circumstances,1 Jenna's Jokers (a law abiding Inquisition Cell) have been hoodwinked into performing a Heist scenario where The Ambull Hunters were ensconced. The game was a rather cagey one (it always is with ratlings in cover). Rather than the usual laborious Battle Report I'm going to write a pretty much abridged version and a bit of waffle at the end.

A bit of preamble, after terrain was set up Pat agonised a bit about where to place his warband. His judiciously placed them to cover nearly all eventualities. The way Heist works is I bust in through a random table edge. As luck would have it I rolled exactly the right edge to nail both his heavy weapon armed Noble, and his slightly less exposed other Noble.

Derric & Tefal look for victims to shoot/psychically molest. 

Monday, 13 June 2016

Imperial Safety Notice.

Just thought I'd share this. Kudos to the creator and hopefully there are more like it on the inter webs.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Catch The Genestealer!

Interrogator Jenna had received word of strange groups scouring the farmlands of Nora searching for something or someone. When evidence pointed towards The Ambull Hunters, the matter gained a little more urgency, whatever that degenerate group was searching for, The Jokers would do their best to spoil the party. When approaching the small hamlet of no name worth remembering, not one but two armed groups converged heading towards the only tavern there. What was worse was one of the groups was made up entirely of mutated monstrosities looking like their intention was mayhem. Jenna recognised a member of the the other group - the leader of The Ambull Hunters. Then a loud roar focused attention back on the other group and the enormous Ogryn leading them. Two groups of hostiles, "Attack pattern Trident! I want information!". Thus the battle of nowhere began.

Planet Nora

Nora is an agricultural world of little consequence in the Eastern Fringe located in the Seldom system.  Boasting one spaceport and a single city it is sparsely populated. It's main export is wheat and the climate is ideal for growing it. There are few native predators other than the rather large forest bats that can sometimes be  encountered in the wilds. Noran soldiers are not renowned as the greatest fighters in the imperial guard and are generally fit only for garrison duty. Because of this lack of decent manpower, when a series of strange occurrences (disappearances and excessive mutant sightings) started help was required. An Astropath sent message requested Inquisitorial assistance and the Jokers was the best that could be dispatched to such an unimportant backwater.
The reason for the strange occurances were twofold: firstly the disappearances were caused mainly by a damaged shuttle crashing, unknown in the wilds containing three immature genestealer hybrids. Two were fatally wounded but the third was wounded but survived, this genestealer was responsible for a number of livestock deaths and farmers reported the small purple alien to the authorities, the recent large number of mutant sightings was simply caused by a group landing on the planet to resupply and move off to cause mischief. Added to these circumstances The Ambull Hunters arrived on the planet after receiving some promising readings from a long range xenos probe.
That battle begins as all three groups reach the Genestealer's hiding place and each one has a different motive for capturing the critter.

The Scenario

The scenario was basically a modified Scavengers game. Six loot token were placed on the table (a 6' x 4' as there were three gangs). As we had to dice off for table edge it was a case of all the tokens were well out of the deployment zones. When a model reached a token he had to see what was there (with hindsight a successful investigation test would have made sense). The test was made during the shooting phase, a roll on a D6:
1-2 attacked by d3 giant bats
3 a gas fungus shoots spores out roll a second D6
                                                                          1-2 Scare
                                                                          3-4 Choke
                                                                          5-6 Hallucinogen.
4 an item from the Outlanders trade chart.
5 an item from the Necromunda trade chart
6 the immature genestealer.
The winner of the game had to subdue the stealer (defeat it in hand to hand) then carry it to the nearest table edge. Exp was 10 for winning gang leader and getting the stealer off the table. wounding hits and surviving as normal. As you can see a pretty simple game that I hoped would prove challenging and fun. In this game as only d3 models per side were allowed to use their infiltrate skill and not with 8" of a token. 

The Gangs

Once again I took Jenna's Jokers, Pat took The Ambull Hunters and an as yet unnamed Mutant Mob made up the team. The first two gangs lists can be found on Operation Duck & Weave, whilst the mutants consisted of:
An Ogryn leader with ripper gun and sword,
A Blaster with a heavy stubber abd
8 dregs with autopistols and knives (or possibly swords).

The Game

In the picture below, Pat choose deployment zone first (he opted for the short edge to the right) then Shane (he took the top end near the woods) and I got the leavings which in this case was bottom left deployment zone. All six token markers can be seen two in the cottage and barn, one in the woods at the top and two out in the relative open. My plan (if you can call it that) was to advance on two fronts, my more close combatty gang members to advance towards the cottage using the walls as cover and hopefully blag the nice things, whilst my leader and some of my shootyish guys go up towards the spikey plants and grab some stuff there. Apologies for all the technical jargon. It all sounds very straightforward, surely nothing could go wrong?

The Battlefield
Shane won the roll for first turn and I came third. He ran his entire gang up towards the woods with the token in it (all woods halved movement) and ended up with a mutant close enough to the token to reach it next turn. There was no shooting as the only model with range (the heavy stubber) had moved.

Pat's turn saw his two beastmen run like the clappers to be able to rummage around in another two tokens. Shooting hit two muties, pinning but not wounding either. Another group of Nobles advanced towards my half of the table.

I moved both my money grabbing groups towards their respective loot tokens and moved my heavy to peek out 2" from the edge of the woods (I had decided that the woods were oldskool ones where you could only shoot through 2" of woods otherwise you were woodblind).

The Muties march sideways.
Shane advanced all his mutants towards Pat's beastman nosing around in some crates as if someone had deliberately left them there for the purposes of providing cover. He also tried to ruin the game by investigating the loot token an finding the immature Genestealer. He further tried to ruin my carefully crafted masterpiece by twatting the 'stealer over the head and stuffing him into an old moldy *sack. Some shots were exchanged with Pat's Nobles but he definitely had the upper hand in the game.

A caped mutant tries to ruin the game!
A splat of mutants (collective noun).

Pat's turn involved shooting at both mine and Shane's gang with his horrible little ratlings. I think due to my wonderful walls my gang remained pretty much intact. Shane had a mutant get a fleshwound and another go down**. Also Pat investigated two loot tokens, bagging himself a silencer by the crates and 2 bats in the barn (which I thought was rather thematic). Sadly (for the bats) it was a big beastman who found them and soundly pulped the poor creatures even though they are an endangered species on Nora. If the Ambull Hunters are not careful a battle between themselves and the Nora Bat Protection League may soon occur!

It was about this time that realised that Pat's new red dice were rolling very high and a bit of discretion was in order. Three of my gang Spaz, Hellion & Chubbs decided to hide by the wall and Tefal my Wyrd ran to get to the base of the wall (but couldn't hide in time). My other group advanced towards the first loot token.

A rather alarming mutation
 Shane continued his advance towards the Ambull Hunters and his heavy wounded a ratling I think. The mutant with the 'stealer in the bag dragged the little fecker towards the table edge.

Mutants on the run!

Pat's dice were the star of the turn again as Lord Farquahar shot Tefal with a controlled burst of automatic fire (hitting on a 6) and then passing his ammo roll to makes matters worse Tefal went out of action! Spaz failed his nerve test and cowered at the base of the wall like a dog in a thunderstorm. Also Shawty got hit and went out of action despite the heavy stone walls, perhaps the geology on Nora is actively trying to thwart me? I think another of Shane's gang got hit (but only fleshwounded). Mellox, the other beastman made his way back to the bosom of his gang before any rabid environmentalists came after him.

A large number of shooty Nobles

As I was two men down with nothing at all achieved Hellion & Chubbs made a run for the cottage - this was tricky enough as I had to stay well out of Lord Farquahar line of sight and hope Lord Ruprect and the ratling accompanying him wouldn't take them down. One ray of light was Bangs my heavy took Lady Sophia out with some accurate shooting. I also advanced Jenna onto the token whilst putting Ensign out as a meat shield to take any long range bullets for ***him/her. Unfortunately I forgot to see if there was any goodies under the token. D'oh!

Slight scale mismatch, but two large behemoths try to kick the shit out of each  other

Shane's unnamed Ogryn charged poor old Yagosh whilst his remaining gaggle of mutants advanced towards the Noble gang. The only exception was the 'stealer in the sack mutant who dragged towards the table edge. It was around this time that Pat noticed neither me or Shane had exchanged a single bullet- probably because of range and cover issues. There had not been any kind of detente  anyway. The shooting phase was I think unremarkable. Close combat had only one combat but it was very remarkable - mainly because the Ogryn inflicted 7 hits on Yagosh.

Pat continued to roll appalling well taking poor old Ensign out, taking Hellion down and pinning Chubbs. I think the inexorable advancing mutants had unnerved Pat somewhat as the Nobilist Faction started edging away from their less genetically stable opponents.

I passed my bottle test but things were getting pretty desperate! I think Bangs wounded something (an uppity ratling) and Hellion made her recovery roll (she was now suffering from a flesh wound). In all the commotion I once again forgot to look for something nice (but to be honest the way the game was going it probably would have been fatal).

This little feller performed the task of overwatch bait, he remains in a threatening position keeping a member of Pat's gang on overwatch for fear of shooting someone in the back!

Shane was going a bit No Retreat No Surrender! and charged his Ogryn into a very unfortunate ratling. Another ratling took an autopistol round in the back (he'd spent the last 2 turns on overwatch covering my own ratling) fleshwounding him I think. The mutant with the big sack was now within 4" of the edge and thus 1 turn from winning. The Ogryn wasn't as impressive this turn casing a mere 3 wounds on his adversary. Battering him into jelly made the Ogryn feel invincible I'm sure as he used his follow up move to get closer to the retreating nobles.

The Ogryn Boss hyped up on growth hormones and wolf estrogen goes on a Noble hunt 

Pat's shooting was thankfully getting less accurate as both Hellion & Chubbs got shot at but not wounded. A lot of gunfire was directed at the mutant leader but he wasn't taken out. I think Spaz got shot and went down meaning that another bottle roll was needed next turn.

I bottled out.

Shane came to his senses and left the table with his Xenos prize.

The survivors

Despite it being the sensible thing to do, the retreat left a bitter taste in Jenna's mouth. Both Shawty and Ensign were dead, and Tefal was in a bad way too. Jenna had watched how the big Ogryn had dispatched two opponents with ease. Jenna had a feeling that that wasn't the time the Ogryn would cross the Jokers path. 'I must be ready next time'. 


Even as I'm writing this I'm not 100% certain of who did the best out of that rather enjoyable game. I know who did worst, it was me. Both Shawty and Ensign died on Nora. Yagosh was captured by the mutants and The Ambull Hunters got a silencer. Experience was handed out but the advance rolls for Shanes gang haven't been done. The game was tremendous craic and this game system does lend itself to multiplayer games. As far as tactical punditry is concerned, my plan wasn't that bad. Pat rolled really well (in direct correlation with how bad he rolled last game) and having two dead acolytes has probably put me at the bottom of the heap. My biggest mistake was forgetting to search my loot counter.  In terms of moving the story along Pat has to decide whether he wants to launch a rescue mission for the imprisoned Yagosh. Also, what purpose has the Mutant Mob got for the little 'stealer? Also what exactly is the mutation in that last picture? The Jokers now have a proper grudge against the Ambull Hunters and after the short detour to Nora, a trip to Oirlund is probably their next step. 

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, 5 May 2016

Operation Duck & Weave

Interrogator Persuivant's examination of the dataslate provided little information regarding the alien weapons place of origin. As this particular lead was proving fruitless, a thorough reexamination of the original crime scene might be of benefit. Providing the place hadn't been picked clean by the sort of bottom feeders that congregate at the recesses of Hive Primus. As the warband entered the area, other furtive figures were sighted. "Attack Pattern Saturn! Lethal Force!" with the orders given it was time to find out who else had interest in this semi collapsed dome.

More Skullduggery!

The saga of Jenna Persuivant's warband continues as this week a Nobilist Faction on a galactic safari get in the way of Imperial investigations. As Jenna's Jokers (finally given them a name) successfully thwarted the plans of some Void Pirates ; Skullduggery in the Underhive. This week it was the turn of some thrill seeking nobles slumming it in the underhive looking for trouble. As narratives go, this one was pretty basic, after retrieving vital blueprints for an advanced alien technology that could prove terrible for the Imperium of Man but not being able to find the planet of origin Persuivant's band returned to the battle site only to find another group of armed fighters seemingly searching too. Inevitably, by the Underhive *code battle must be joined.

The Mission

A simple gang fight scenario with no additional rules was the name of the game today. The terrain was set up as per the rulebook so nothing out of the ordinary there. Lots of pictures were taken except for a vital before the start of the game one. 

The Gangs

Jenna's Jokers

Interrogator Jenna Persuivant, armed with a bolt pistol, knife, sword.
Acolyte Tefal, level 2 ;wyrd, Cursed Luck, Cast Glow, Dominate, autopistol, power maul, knife.
Acolyte buxom, lasgun, knife.
Acolyte Hellion, Sprint, autopistol, knife, 2 x swords.
Acolyte Shawty, autogun, knife.
Acolyte Ensign, autopistol, knife.
Disciple Bangs, heavy stubber, knife.
Tech Adept Derric, Plasma gun, knife.
Recruit Spazz, laspistol, knife.
Recruit Chubbs,  Catfall, Evade, Sprint, autopistol, knife.
Recruit Greylocks, stub gun, knife.

Jenna's Jokers

The Ambull Hunters

Pat's new **gang is of the Nobilist Faction and a bit of a mishmash. Three humans, six ratlings and two beastmen make up the starting 11. The list is as follows:

Duchess Sophia, human leader : Wyrd (level 1) Cursed Luck, Nailer, Sword, Bio Booster, 
Lord Farquhar, human noble heavy : Heavy Stubber,
Lord Ruprecht, human noble heavy : Scatter Gun, Musket,
Rusty O'Charmless, ratling retainer (ganger) : Scatter Gun, Musket, Infiltration,
Goldie McWhiskey, ratling retainer (ganger) : Scatter Gun, Musket, Infiltration,
Tater O'Looney, ratling retainer (ganger) : Scatter Gun, Musket, Infiltration,
Sprinkles O'Lyin, ratling retainer (ganger) : Hunting Rifle, Infiltration,
Potsy McWickless, ratling retainer (ganger) : Hunting Rifle, Infiltration,
Lucky O'Wobbles, ratling retainer (ganger) : Hunting Rifle, Infiltration,
Yagosh, Beastman Slave (juve) : Big Mutie, Snake Tail, Sword,
Mellox, Beastman Slave (juve) : Big Mutie, Snake Tail, Sword.

Pat's gone for a lot of sneaky ratlings, backed up by some big inexperienced beastman muscle, overseen by human Nobles. One feature of the ratlings names are their distinctiveness, presumably all hailing from the agricultural world of ***Oirlund. The six ratlings all have infiltration which means they don't show up until the end of Pat's first turn so it leaves me with some problems right off the bat - not knowing where your enemy shooters are at the start of the game hampers your opening moves, but with luck if I stay in cover for the first turn, this worry is minimalised. Also the two big Muties give a bit of punch to the gang, and the heavy stubber provides long range support.

The Ambull Hunters

The Fight

The roll for selecting sides was won by Pat, but I got to chose who went first, so with the infiltrators in mind I decided to go second. At least then I wouldn't (hopefully) present a massive gaping autowin type situation by rushing off and leaving my rear undefended (ooer). So Pat advanced with his non-infiltrators and then deployed all six sneaky ratlings in cover and in forward positions making my job a little but trickier.
Two meat shields for Disciple Bangs

My right flank fire team
 My first turn involved my main group faffing around behind the pub type building as I wasn't sure what order I wanted my troops to advance in. I also discovered that the Dominate wyrd power is activated in the opponents turn instead of my own.

My left flank assault force

Sneaky Sneaksters!

Some skulking Nobles with beastmen retainers

Billy No mates AKA Lord Ruprecht
The next few turns were as cagey as a fox in a minefield as both myself and Pat didn't want to give any clear shots away. My gung ho-ness broke first as ****usual, and I started darting troops forward to try to outmaneuver the rich kids with their abhuman flunkies.

Team Indecision!
When my eagerness to advance got too hard to resist I advanced both Greylocks and Ensign up the middle with Shawty attempting a flanking move soon to be accompanied by Buxom. One thing I did do was put Bangs on overwatch and hope my two weaponsmith ammo roll rerolls would allow for some effective area denial.

Run Meat shields, run!
Meanwhile stuff was going on on Pat's side of the table. In the picture below Pat's main combat group (two big muties and the Duchess - at the top) shadowed my combat group, although if shit got real my numbers should prove telling. Also Lord Ruprecht advaced up to one of the ratlings (possibly Rusty O'Charmless). I did get an overwatch shot on who I think was Goldie McWhiskey, fleshwounding him (or her). the ensuing ammo roll was failed but I ignored it with my weaponsmith territory.  It was around this time both Spaz and Ensign were both hit but not wounded.
To confuse matters more, a portrait view of the Nobles.

A fleshwounded ratling (centre) and an overwatching ratling (bottom left). There is also a shot-his-bolt ratling on the right.
The beginning of Operation Duck & Weave
A bit of sprinting later Chubbs took a fleshwound and myself and Pat had a 5 minute arguement over whether a model could see another one. It involved several getting down to eye level squints and even waving a phone with it's torch on. I was adamant he couldn't see and Pat was equally adamant he could. Then it turned out that I had completely gotten the wrong end of the stick and it was a different model he was trying to shoot with. I apologised and hastily agreed there was definitely line of sight. I can only apologise for what must have seemed to Pat, me being a complete dick. The upshot was, Hellion didn't get hit so no harm done. Perhaps***** a laser pointer will have to be obtained.

A lot of faffing later......
The ******penultimate turn arrived with Pat putting a lot of his ratlings on overwatch (again) with many of his shooters in good cover as opposed to my combat troops who had to run the gauntlet of BS4 ratling sniping.  A few shots were fired but no one seemed to be hit, I'm sure there was more than one member of my warband who had to fill in requisition forms for new Imperial underwear but that is matter between the fighters and the laundry servitor.
I had to get close to the ratlings to avail myself of the free *******+1 to wound that you get against them, with this in mind Ensign and Greylocks ran up the centre hoping to not be dead in the following turn. A distinct lack of death ensued (much to their surprise - and mine). Also Spaz ran out into the open as Chubbs was pinned and Spaz hasn't done anything worth mentioning in our first games, if I had to lose one it has to be Spaz.

Both Greylocks & Ensign cannot believe they're not dead yet! 

Spaz runs off to take one for the team.
This is the turn that broke Pat's heart********. Pat had two of my gimpy gangers out in the open with three shooters on them, two were hitting on 3+s and one on a 2+. Three 1's later Pat knew it wasn't his day! Some other desultory fire elsewhere hit nothing and I had escaped another turn scot free!
In my turn I moved Deric out to attack the lone ratling situated just out of sight of the picture below, his overwatch shot missed and a single hit from the plasma gun did him in. A failed ammo roll later meant my second workshop bonus was used up. I decided to open up with Bangs on a now in cover ratling! Needing 7's to hit I went fully auto getting 5 shots, then some 6's followed by 4+'s meaning the little mite was hit and wounded 3 times. I very nearly got away with it by passing 2 out of 3 ammo rolls. The both Ensign and Shawty took down two more ratlings forcing The Ambull Hunters to bottle it. Once again the Emperor protects!

If you look carefully you can see Deric's plasma gun!

 Damaged Ratlings A Gogo!


Amazingly I hadn't taken any casualties in that game (a fleshwound was all) due to my gang causing 4 I got to muscle in on one of Pat's territories. I took over his Prizefighting business. As far as income went I ended up with 80 Throne Geld which I bought a blindsnake pouch (which I decided to give to Jenna) and ratling recruit (as I was impressed with them). Advancewise Jenna got +1 WS, hellion got the Juggernaut skill, Shawty got +1 BS and Bangs got +1 LD. The Ratling was issued the previously captured Jokaero's autogun.
The injury roll was kind to Pat as he didn't get any lasting injuries. Goldie McWhiskey got a +1 BS advance (which puts him at the top of my hit list) and +1 WS to both Tater O'Looney and Lucky O'Wobbles. Weapon skill advances of ratling infiltrators can be annoying, but not as irritating as a BS5 shooter who infiltrates! This is one of my favourite aspects of Necro/inquisimunda the ever changing gang stats.

Jenna was troubled, the Necromundan underhive seldom saw one ratling, let alone six. Also two very large mutants were seen acting as guardians for the apparent leader of the group. All this pointed to an organised well funded and unscrupulous outfit. One that needed to be eliminated. The skirmish itself went well with only Chubbs taking a minor wound. The warband's tenacity had helped to defeat the other group and sent them scurrying back into the shadows. Unfortunately no captives were taken for interrogation. This new group were presumably looking for the same thing as the Jokers, without knowing anything about them this investigation would be subject to unwanted scrutiny. The nearest ratling planet was Oirlund , in the Cark system. There may be answers there. 

What Now?

Moving the narrative forward, I think a trip to Oirlund to find out a bit more about The Ambull Hunters is probable (I will get to use my WFB terrain as it is an agriworld). This will also be the planet of origin of my new ratling recruit. I have a scenario planned involving an immature genestealer and a few other critters.

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, 30 April 2016

More Painted Fings

My Productivity Is Reaching Epic Proportions! 

Weirdly my painting is matching my gaming so I'm still Inquisimundaing the hell out of my model collection.


I have finished five Scavvys for my scabrous horde. Old Tomb Dogger, the previous ganger leader will shortly be making way for the new improved Scavvy gang leader, one that is not married to his sister! These Scavvy sculpts are really nice, with lots of dirty rags hanging off their weapons and what not.

Scabby Topknot

Friday, 22 April 2016

Skullduggery in The Underhive!

Interrogator Jenna Persuivant strode into the small apartmentium in a hab-slum on Lower Skunkton. the other members of the group were ready and awaiting orders. The group were eager for action. Jenna simply said 'target acquired.' she went on 'a dataslate containing vital blueprints must be recovered from subsector SV1298Q. There may be hostiles also trying to obtain said plans. Arm yourselves!' . As one the group grabbed their gear and started filing out the door.

Necromunda  Jim, But Not As We Know It!

As is my wont, I have jumped from one game system to another without a by your leave. This time it's Inquisimunda. Not the most well known or even played game by GW. It is actually an offshoot of Necromunda but with the emphasis on small warbands of Inquisitor Cells, Mutant Mobs, Ecclesiarchy Delegations and many more besides. Using the *NCE version of the rules and with the ability to use several Xenos races it really is up my alley! To download the rules go to Yaktribe Community and get reading! for my inaugural gang I decided to go for an Inquisition Cell, led by Interrogator Jenna Persuivant (as this is a skirmish level game, big guns like Inquisitors themselves are far too busy to show up) and here motley crew. They are Ordos Xenos (radical) which means they hate aliens but don't mind using their stuff and also having one in the **gang. My opponent Pat has a goodly amount of Squat models (very oldskool) so he formed a gang of Squat Void Pirates - just like pirates but with the word Void in front of them. They are actually a fun choice as they can have multiple races and a good selection of weapons.

The Mission

As I wanted to keep the game simple and also make it not so much an out and out gang fight the scenario was using gang fight rules for purposes of bottling etc but I placed an Imperial Rhino in the centre line of the board, the objective being simple - any ganger that spends a full turn doing nothing and making a successful I test grabs the terribly important dataslate and wins the game. Of course stopping your opponents more homicidal warband members from chopping you up is the tricky part.

The Battlefield

Below is a picture of the board just after set up. The valiant Inquisitorial group are at the bottom with four models out of shot to the left (intending to use the Necromunda scenery) with my heavy and ganger in the centre by the zombie pen, and the gang leader, Wyrd and general hangers on to the right by the big toxic chemical pool. My overall plan was to position my heavy in cover centrally making a large 'no fly zone' whilst two or three groups use cover to enfilade the abhuman scum winning the day. Although I placed some Spiker plants they weren't being used as such because I couldn't readily get hold of the White Dwarf that contained the rules. The table being played on is my table tennis ***table, and I think the blue gives it an alien world type vibe.

Battlefield ref;45325620/X#1

The Warbands

My as yet unnamed warband has the following elements:
Interrogator Jenna Persuivant, armed with a bolt pistol, knife, sword.
Acolyte Tefal, level 2 ;wyrd, Cursed Luck, Cast Glow, Dominate, autopistol, power maul, knife.
Acolyte buxom, lasgun, knife.
Acolyte Hellion, autopistol, knife, 2 x swords.
Acolyte Shades, autogun, knife.
Acolyte Ensign, autopistol, knife.
Disciple Bangs, heavy stubber, knife.
Tech Adept Derric, Plasma gun, knife.
Recruit Spazz, laspistol, knife.
Recruit Chubbs, autopistol, knife.
Recruit Greylocks, stub gun, knife.

Left to right (back row) Buxom, Hellion, Ensign, Tefal, Jenna, Derric, Shades
(front row) Chubbs, Greylocks, Spaz and Bangs.

Pat's Void Pirates consisted of:
Captain leader Connery (Eldar), Wyrd level 1; Unerring Aim, autogun, chainsword, knife.
Randall quartermaster (Squat), Wyrd level 1; Ground Swell, shotgun (scatter & manstopper), knife.
Gilliam ganger (Jokaero), Wyrd level 2; Trigger spasm, Cast Glow, Mind War, autogun, knife.
Wally ganger (Eldar) autogun, knife.
Strutter ganger (Tau) autogun, knife.
Og Swabies (Tau) autogun, knife.
Kevin Swabies (Squat) autopistol, knife.
Brian Swabies (Squat) autopistol, knife.

As you can see, I have numerical advantage but there's a lot of Wyrdness going on in there!

The Game

The first few turns were cagey enough, I ran my heavy, lasgun armed acolyte and Chubbs the newly recruited bullet catcher into the scatter terrain in the centre. My Tech Adept, and two acolytes went left, accompanied by another recruit - Spazz, whilst Tefal, Hellion and Greylocks went right to avail themselves of my rather natty walls over there. After a bit of pondering Jenna decided to move centrally to advance up with Chubbs to get the goodies in the Rhino. Pats warband was split into three groups, four fighters including the Eldar leader moved to intercept my group on the left (whilst avoiding the heavy stubber) a group of two were placed centrally to raid the Rhino when the opportunity arose and a further four went right to also avail themselves of the aforementioned natty walls. This was a total united colours of Benetton type deal, with a Tau, a Jokaero and two Squats going that way.

My close combat/annoying psychic team.
My putting the heavy stubber on overwatch was a bit of a buzzkill for the Pirates as no one wanted to come out to gather the info in the Rhino. some shots were exchanged on the left where two of my gang were hit, but neither were wounded. On the right Tefal was also hit by the Tau, not wounded and to make matters worse the Tau's autogun ran out of ammo****. This was rather annoying as Tefal - in his infinite wisdom had moved out of range of Hellion & Greylocks so he couldn't even attempt to escape pinning next turn.

My heavy bravely hides behind a new recruit, Chubbs.
In my turn both Derric & Spaz rolled under initiative to escape pinning and kept running towards the bulkhead where the Emperor's righteous fury could be rained down on the conga line of Pirates sneaking up along the large building in the centre. Below them two more members tried popping off shots that missed due to range and cover issues. I was this turn I realised that plasma guns on full power aren't all that when I put a flesh wound on the conga lining Squat . The Eldar pirate captain proved to be annoying with his psychic power that makes his shot automatically hit! Spaz got hit and not wounded again! Derric wasn't so lucky he got shot and fell off the gantry hurting himself. Over on the right Tefal was once again hit but not *****wounded! Hellion and Greylocks were now getting into beating up abhumans & Xenos range. Meanwhile Jenna and Chubbs were getting quite close to the Rhino.

Peek A Boo!
Pat blew away poor old Greylocks and miraculously missed Hellion. Gilliam, the Jokaero tried to Mind War her too only to have the alien ape blow his own mind and putting himself Xenos down. The Emperor protects! Chubbs ran to the Rhino, whilst Jenna moved forward to a covering position. Also in my turn Hellion charged in and chopped up her Squat opponent Randall, neatly dodging his Ground Swell ability. Tefal violated the next Squat's mind making him turn round and shoot the another pirate! Sadly the Squat's underlying stubborness shone through only giving him a flesh wound.

The centrally positioned Squat shoots his mate. 
Pat had to stop Chubbs so he charged a pirate into him and at the same time sent another pirate to ransack the Rhino! Hellion continued to lead a charmed life despite being very close to some angry space dwarfs! The conga liners failed to hit any more of my troops in cover. The model that charged into Chubbs rolled a 1 for combat and Chubbs managed 4 hits on him. Chubbs butchered his opponent forthwith. Jenna charged into combat with the pirate rummaging around in the Rhino. In my shooting turn the heavy stubber took down a flesh wounded Squat. Jenna dispatched her opponent and all Chubbs had to do to win the game was pass an Initiative test which he obligingly did. Game over, dude!


Well that went pretty well. I have to admit Pat did some awful dice rolling in that game, namely at least 4 failures to wound at important times, and an unsuccessful mind war with a +2 modifier. The post game phase wasn't any kinder as he ended up with 5 injuried fighters. 2 Old Battle Wounds (Randall & Vermin), leg wound for Og, Kevin died and probably most telling Gilliam the Jokaero was captured! I got off lighly, Greylocks and Derric rolled on the injury table - Greylocks now hates Connery and Derric got a full recovery. Experience wise I managed to get 3 advances for Chubbs (Catfall, Evade, Sprint) and one for Hellion (Sprint). Income was pretty sparse. As it was now midnight in the real world we didn't roll on the rare trade charts (even if we did neither of us had disposable income) and called it a day.

Jenna Persuivant's band returned to their apartmentium with the unconscious Xenos. Bringing a neural psionic inhibitor was standard operating procedure. The NPI would be implanted on the Jokaero's skull making it unable to use it's Wyrd powers. Ultimately an ideal solution would to coerce this Xenos to the warband, this would take both time and Throne Geld. In the meantime a thorough examination of the dataslate would hopefully provide clues to the whereabouts of the weapons designer. 

What Now?

In game terms Jenna's mission was a success, even more so as they have captured a Jokaero Wyrd. If the Wyrd can be subverted then I will save up to buy a Jokaero as my token alien for the warband. That is of course, if Pat's Pirates (not their real name) don't make an attempt to spring him (or her). Returning to the mission, the dataslate contains incomplete plans for a highly advanced weapon system that if the complete blueprints were to get into the slimy ******tentacles of an enemy of the Imperium could spell the doom of countless millions! Pat Pirates are probably even now, knee deep in alien floozys drinking their fill of Space Rum and plotting horrible Void Pirate revenge. So next thing to do is see who's available next week to take on my unnamed warband.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, 18 April 2016

What I did on my Holiday. AKA The Battle of Hangover Hill.

Once again I headed over to sunny Essex for a weekend at my buddy Matt's house. The purpose was ostensibly for a 40th surprise birthday party but there was a lot of drooling over models and a lovely big 6000 point game of Warhammer 8th edition with a hangover to be played. So without further ado here is the Warhammer Porn!

A rather large scratchbuilt standard on a Palanquin jockey.

More Daemonics!

Undead made to make your mouth water!

Yes, three steam tanks and two war wagons.

Mucho Empire Characters.
The picture below has one of my favourite models in it, and it was scratchbuilt by Sculptureman himself! It's like a big chaos creature mated with a toilet and an unpleasant offspring was the result. Also some Forge World Ogres and GW Nurglings occupy this photo.

Forge World Chaos Ogres and a scratchbuilt Chaos Spawn

More Daemons.

Dark Elves and Chaos cocktail.

More Undead and a little bit of Empire
Sadly my iPhone photos really don't do justice to these models. It really is a joy to go over there and gawp, slack jawed and all the pretty things. Matt has extensive (more like humongous) armies of Undead, Empire, Dark Elves, Beastmen, Chaos Daemons and probably a few others that I've forgotten. Until such time as Matt decides to document his collection this will have to suffice.

The Battle of Hangover Hill

The following collection of words are based on a rather enjoyable game that was played the day after the 40th birthday party. Matt took 6000 points of fabulously painted Dark Elves, I took 3000 points of Skaven and my accomplice Barry took 3000 points of Orcs & Goblins. *Barry was also charged with bringing all the luck, as he is notoriously fortunate, particularly on the gaming table. As I mentioned before, I was badly hungover and in that state my brain functions weren't at their best. My army list comprised of a Grey Seer on a Screaming Bell, Plague Priest on a Furnace, an Abomb, Doomwheel, 2 units of Gutter Runners and loads of Clanrats, Slaves giant rats and Plague Monks. there was also a BSB in there too. What I didn't **bring was the Storm Banner, a cheap-as-chips Warlock Engineer with Doom Rocker and/or Death Globe or any of the other dastardly Skaven stuff that some non-Skaven players bitch about. I did remember to pack a Plague Banner though. Barry took some ***Mangler Squig's, Doom Divers, a massive unit of Savage Orcs and Grimgor Ironhide with a hefty unit of immortals plus assorted Goblin units.
Matts army consisted of (****as far as I can remember): 3 units of Witch Elves (the largest horde had a Cauldron of Blood in it, just to make it even more appealing), a big unit of Sisters of Slaughter, 2 large Executioner units, 25ish Blackguard with Kouran, Morathi, 10 Doomfire Warlocks, some Shades 2 chariots and some chaff hunting Dark Riders. There was also some crossbowmen and a Kharbydiss.

We played on an 8' table to accommodate the plethora of painted models and we set about rolling dice for table edge and whatnot. Matt lost the dice rolls giving him table edge and setting up second privileges and who places their infiltrators first (all Barry's skill), also the whose vanguards vanguards in the vanguard, but we lost the who goes first roll. Can't win them all I suppose*****. The Spider Riders (that I forgot to mention previously) vanguarded up to the woods in the vanguardery phase, effectively stopping the Dark Riders doing it.

Turn One

Matt's first turn was a bit cagey (let's face it, most first turns are). The army advanced at a reasonable pace, Morathi scooted behind the tower and proceeded to try to cast Soul Drain all game******. I think the Dark elf male mage blew up in the crossbowman unit killing 3 or 4 of them. The Opal amulet, sadly worked on him though. The Dark Elves shooting phase wasn't overly bad -a couple of wounds on the Abomb, a Mangler Squig and maybe 13 points of dead skaven. One fun thing that happened was when the Brolocks attempted to cast a spell I Sivejir's Hex Scrolled them turn the super mobile fast cavalry into movement 1 donkeys.

Our turn was equally cagey with me advancing just enough to provoke some very long charges I angled my Plague monks in such a way as to be able to charge either the smallish unit of Witch Elves or the Executioner unit. The Spiders Riders on 'my' side of the table advanced up to completely block movement of the Dark Riders and Cold One Chariot. The Goblins, Savage Orcs and Immortuls all ambled up with a total lack of animosity. I tried to cast Howling Warpgale but Matt was having none of it. Barry's Goblin cast Itchy Nuisance of the Sisters of Slaughter severely limiting their movement. I let Barry take most of the power dice as each free die he gets from popping mushrooms is very irritating for the opponent. Our shooting was pretty ineffective this turn.

Turn Two

There were a few Dark Elf charges, namely a unit of Dark Riders and chariot into the annoying spider riders, they fled (like any self respecting goblin would) allowing a redirected charge into my Giant Rat unit. The smaller of the two witch elf units in the centre charged my Slave bus. The witch Elves on my right charged the Abomb. Had I a musk gland, it might have squirted a bit, but luckily I don't so it didn't. The best part was when the large unit of Witch elves failed a charge. A unit of Dark Riders did a lot of fast cavalry sneaky stuff to get all up in my warpfire thrower team's grill. On the goblinoid end the Dark elf advance was stalled by the imminent appearance of 3 goblin fanatics if any of the highly expensive Executioners went near them. Soul Stealer killed a few more Slaves (so what!) in the magic phase and I think that was it. To my amusement the Brolock that was a toad remained one. I think the Elf male wizard miscast again, killing a few more crossbowmen then dissappearing into the warp! In the shooting phase I had to say goodbye to my weapons teams due to vindictive Dark Elf bullying. A Mangler Squig was cut down in his prime also. Combat went ok, the Witch elves destroyed the Slave unit overrunning past the amused Doom divers. The second Witch elf unit inflicted a couple of wounds on the Abomb who in turn took a rank off them. The Rats vs the chariot and Dark riders ended well enough as my rats withstood the charge and due to steadfast looked good for another turn or two.

Who will win? Charging Plague Monks or Executioners with BSB?
As the forces of the lesser of two evils turn began I had some charges to declare. My Plague Monks into the Executioners, the other Slave bus into the Dark Riders and my small (20 or so) clanrats into the Chariot next to the Kharbydis. The Savage Orcs failed a straightforward charge into the big Witch Elf unit. A unit of squig Hoppers got into contact with the crossbowmen. The remaining Mangler Squig rolled something pathetic and failed to get into combat. My unit of gutter runners emerged behind Morathi hoping to poison her ass off the table. In the magic phase Barry continued his annoying magic assault on the elves whereas I played it cool only not casting anything at all. Our shooting phase did very little at all, inflicting one wound on Morathi and naff all else.Close combat was ok my Clanrats beat the chariot in combat only to have it stick around due to Matt's pesky BSB. The Giant rats held up the chariot and Dark riders for a turn. The I fought the Plague Monks vs Executioners, activated the Plague Banner and tore them a new one! Even with the BSB and Morathi's leadership the Executioners were routed which took the Plague Monks into the flank of the blackguard. Of course if I had started this combat first then the chariot would have fucked off too as there wouldn't have been a reroll, ah hindsight, we meet again. The witch Elves slew the mighty Abomb, only to have 3 rat swarms disgorge themselves in front of them.

So Much Frenzy in the Picture!

Turn Three

This was the make or break turn. with the Plague monks doing a number on the highly expensive executioner unit, Matt had to recoup some points. With that the other unit of Executioners charged the goblin shaman container (taking some wounds from running through fanatics). The Kharbidyss charged in to help the chariot vs the clanrats. The Witch Elf Abomb slayers charged the rat swarms.  The Sisters of slaughter charged the Black orcs and the big unit of Witch Elves avec Cauldron of Blood charged into the Savage Orcs. There was a tape measure fest deciding where Morathi could go and remain unmolested by skaven or greenskins*******. Shooting saw the untimely end of my would be Morathi assassins to pointy elven crossbow bolts. Magic didn't do much either as I recall. Then came the close combat whch had at least 10 units in combat there was going to be an awful lot of ASF rerolls! Most amusingly was, I thought the appalling damage done by the executioners on the Goblins (or the lack thereof). monumentally bad dice were rolled by the elves resulting in a fit and happy Shaman, Big boss and BSB! Also not enough damage was done to even break their steadfast. The Sisters were good, but didn't get any cigars for routing the Black orcs, as indeed they were the ones who fled! Witch elves vs the savage Orcs next, the ensuing cataclysmic murderfest ended in a draw despite well over 35 models took early baths. Over on the Skaven end the plague Monks caused bloody mayhem on the Blackguard and the only thing that stopped them fleeing was Kouran. The slightly less dramatic fight next door (chariot,Kharbidys and Clanrats) went badly for my lads but not enough for them to rout. The witch elves wiped out my free swarms overunning into easy charge range of the bell. The final combat (Dark riders, Chariot and giant Rats) ended as another draw and the packmasters (by means of attrition) were getting uncomfortably close to danger. 

A smallish unit of Witch Elves about to take some Death Frenzy love.
As the majority of units were in combat there wasn't many unengaged units, those who were (black orcs and Slaves) charged into combat to get some! The Black Orcs flank charged the ********Executioners, the slaves into the Blackguard. The Clanrats pushing the Bell ambled into the now presumable exhausted Witch elves. In the magic phase Scorch was cast from the Bell (killing 3 Brolocks including the Toadlock). They routed. Death Frenzy was cast upon the Clanrat unit, bringing the number of attacks up to a goodly amount. The only thing left on our side that could shoot was my Gutter runners and they plinked off a couple Corsairs. As I limbered up my dice throwing muscles for combat Matt conceded as he really wasn't in a position to win the game and we had to go off and get a *********curry! Handshakes all round then.

The rather big scrap in the middle saw the death of Dark Elf ambitions in this game!


Well I haven't played a game of Warhammer that big for a long time! It was a total blast. Tactically most of the things I tried to do went well, Barry's luck did it thing also. Matt had some poxy luck too. Our two units on either flank (my Giant Rats and Barry's Goblin unit) withstood a lot of damage, holding up things that I really wouldn't want creeping around my rear! Despite my army list being not overpowered (except perhaps the Plague Monk sledgehammer). Another thing that helped was me not having total control of the magic phase, the Goblin shaman got casting nearly everything he wanted too with near impunity due to him popping magic mushrooms all game. I suppose the biggest mistake I made was the order I did my combats in turn 2, had I started on the Executioners first I would have also routed the Chariot giving me a charge on the Kharbidys with my clanrats, not really game changing as it turned out but making me seem a bit less like a hungover dweeb. So now I can cross off winning a game of warhammer against Dark Elves with Orc & Goblin allies off my hobby bucket list. Who knows what is next? Find out in future episodes.

Thanks for reading.