The Slag Valley Bullett, Necromunda Journalism.

The Invention of The Printing Press

I have a dirty little secret. Well, not really a secret just a less frequented blog really. My other blog is a pseudo newspaper based on the goings on in a settlement called Slag Valley in Hive Primus on the Imperial planet of Necromunda. The paper's name is The Slag Valley Bullett (formerly Star). It began over 20 years ago when Necromunda first came out and a good buddy of mine called Dave was the editor (Dave was the only person I knew who had a pc that had publishing capabilites). The first issue looked like this:

ISSUE #1

It described some of the events in our Necromunda campaign that had us battling regularly for dominance around Slag Valley, Fornication Gulch and the outlying settlements. Sadly only two issues were made but I kept hard copies of them and hoped one day I would have the means to resurrect the publication. The relative cheapness of scanners meant all I needed was a outlet to get it seen. Fast forward about 15 years and I have a pc, a printer, an account on Blogger and some spare time. The result was this:

The Modern Era

ISSUE #3 OR #1 YOU CHOOSE!

 This issue reported on a Necromunda game, a 40K skirmish and my attempts to model underhive creepy crawlies to chew up the unfortunate gangers that inhabit the underhive. Microsoft Works allowed me to make a good stab at proper newsletter and writing the thing is a bit of a laugh too. I found that the paper gave me ideas for things to (hopefully) occur within the game and eyewitnesses gave me inspiration for modelling projects and terrain pieces. Then within the last two years I actually started gaming on a fortnightly basis. This was mainly Warhammer with a few other specialist games. A Necromunda campaign was started but didn't last overly long as the new Wood Elf book came out. Meanwhile another issue was published:

ISSUE #3, #5 OR SOME OTHER DIGIT

This described the campaign as it was going on and had some amusing anecdotes. A change of pc meant Microsoft Office (I think I prefer Works) and another format change. Games were played, and articles created. One of my favourite parts was the character of my gang leader - Headcrusher of The Sons Of Slagarchy - he was always there to give a quote to any reporter willing to listen. Through him, insults could be given without affecting the facade of impartiality that my publication has. A couple of proffesional underhive eyewitnesses are being created at the moment - Gubble Hantz - prospector, Purgative Jessop - delivery man as well as Jessop's sump mule - Bessie. Also, other characters to give accounts such diverse inhabitants as Ole Hairy Jeb - crazed retired miner, Legless O' Shockaknossey - semi crippled security guard and Madame Fung - entrepreneur and masseuse.

Heretic!

Lately we've played a few games of Infinity (excellent game) and Bloodbowl (also excellent). Incorporating both into the Bullett was easy enough - as Infinity is a special ops type game, I referred to the goings on as industrial espionage uphive - and Bloodbowl just went in there reported upon by Dag Uterous  newly created sports editor. For the fluff purists, what I have done is heresy, but then there is an awful lot of it about in the 41st millennium!

Issue #7

The Staff

I'm also having fun naming my reporters. Aurelis Charga, Cuckold Stranglethorpe IV, Polac Greis : business editor, Dag Uterous; Sports Editor, Bespoke Kitchens, Pastor Pyranium Devout, Ricco Chunk, Ludley Stange, Crippet Toe, Chagg Munsk, Skotk Jagerbloom, and Spatch Puberty are all contributing to the Bullett. I seem to have enough reporters now that I can send them out as a gang in their own right! I'm planning to make models for some of (if not all) these journalists to make objectives/hostages for future games.  

It's a bumper 2 page pamphlet!

For The Future

I've started getting into Inquisimunda (a Necromunda skirmish type game that represents small groups of Inquisitors, their retinues, bad guys and dice rolling. This will definitely mean more underhive  shenanigans but at the same time not totally on the planet of Necromunda. I also have a hankering to play 40K once more and more often than not, large battles don't sit well, fluffwise in Hive Primus. So I came up with a solution. As mentioned is issue #7 The Bullett is being syndicated by media moghul Gholam Jhites which means the Slag Valley Bullett may be absorbed into a new publication - The Imperial Chronicle - a galaxy wide journal of the events that shape the Imperium! This enables the reporting of information from every corner of the galaxy! So if I fancy doing an issue of Rjinn's World Agricultural Journal I can, or if the Catachan Botanical Monthly have a few interesting articles they will get some publicity too. So for all you bloggers out there why not try some real life (not real life) journalism to enhance your gaming experience?

Thanks for reading, and until next time stay frosty!

Some Underhive Denizens.

Well I have gotten round to finishing some more models which is quite an unusual thing for me some its time for some unveiling.
Fistly I finished 5 of my Pit Slave gangers. I tried a new way of basing with a sort of milliput base with some stones embedded into it, to make them look all minery. I have two more Pit Slave figures to finish off then I will give them a run out.

Pit Slave Gang

Skinner.

Next up is my penal guardsman. I put ork Gorkamorka arms on him to make him very brawny looking. Inked up with some crappy tattoos (one on his arm says 'ARM') and a sad face badge i think he looks pretty good. I will be using him as a all round general scumbag who will beef up undermuscled gangs. The knife he is armed with looks like some sort of filleting knife so I will refer to him as Skinner, but under no circumstances will I paint it on his base. I'm over that now. I also painted up an old Citadel confrontation figure that came out ok but the picture didn't come out well so I won't post that yet.



My mutant army has been expanded by two this week. One is an Esher juve bought from ebay without a head and her bosom filed off (must've been from a puritanical household that just couldn't handle the shame anymore). The other is an old Bloodbowl Chaos cheerleader. The Esher got what I hoped would be a sack over her head and bulging eyes (choice of mutation, Bulging Eyes or Hideous Appearance) whereas the cheerleader just got a boltgun, (she has 3 tits and a tail so her mutation could be Strangely Attractive, Big Tail or Bitty). Regardless of what they are, the normals will shortly be made to pay!

Ugly Hettie and Jugs McMonagle

I finished two more Delaques for my Men in White gang. A long time ago in a White Dwarf there was an article about using Necromunda figures in 40K games and one was the use of Delaques as scientists. Consequently I painted their trenchcoats to look like lab coats and voila! A not particularly menacing looking gang. All I have to do now is paint up a couple of heavies and they're done.

Some boffins.

Lastly, I finally finished two Catachan Guardsmen that I started over 10 years ago! There is absolutely no valid reason for this other than everytime I picked them up, I suddenly lost interest. Well they completed a squad so yay(!) to that. The annoying thing about them is I painted them black and I really liked the skin tones but unfortunately I have forgotten the paint mix to acheive it again so the next black miniatures I do probably won't look as nice. I gave one a Papa Shangoesque ghost face and painted a swastika tattoo on the other (the way I think, after 38000 years it probably doesn't have a racist meaning, more a xenophobic one), but its my model and I'll paint it how I want.

Troopers Ghost and Nazi.

Now that I have them done I have gotten out some more started-10-or-more-years-ago figures to try to get some closure  on my traumatic painting problems. amongst those on my ever expanding awaiting painting table are two Frateris Militaria an old Rogue Trader Assasin and an old female guardsmen (?). I have also started making some Necromunda gribblys for some nasty treacherous fauna games and some Tox Bomb markers for my Scavvys. There just aren't enough hours in the day!