Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Pop Khorne!

We had arranged a 4 person 1500 point each game of Warhammer, but unfortunately things got in the way, and two halves of the group couldn't make it. Hence a rather smaller scale battle report, but it was certainly an emotional roller coaster.

Armies & Deployment

My list was a Slann Mage Priest (Light magic), BSB with Gold Sigil Sword and Glittering Scales, Skink Beast Priest, 30 saurus, 20 Temple Guard, 11 skink skirmishers and a Salamander. Arrayed against me was a Bloodthirster (!!!!!!), Soul Grinder, 2 units of Bloodletters, Blood Crushers and Flesh Hounds.
I deployed my big units of saurus & Temple Guard behind the fences hoping to weather some overly frenzied attacking. The skinks were a decoy on the other side of the table and the Salamander was a flanking amphibian death machine.

A rather strong Khornite left flank.
Stuart got first turn and did what all Khornate armies do - marched forward to start knocking on doors selling copies of the Watchtower. No copies were sold in the first turn but next turn probably.
In my turn I slunk my Salamander forward. Both infantry models behind the fences stayed where they were. The skinks decided to advance into the swamp as they'd be silly not to. I think both my shooting and magic phase achieved very little. Brace for impact I suppose!

Overkill by Motorhead keeps playing in my head.
The Bloodthirster (being the insufferable bully that he is) charged my salamander. I think the Soul Grinder tried to as well (for shits and giggles) but failed. As if things weren't bad enough the Flesh Hounds appeared behing the skinks in the swamp. The Bloodcrushems totally ignored the skinks and advanced towards the Temple Guard. There was no magic (there is some benefits to playing mono Khorne ) and shooting was the Soul Grinder not shooting because he failed a charge. Close combat was unsurprisingly one sided. The salamander got his arse kicked and he died leaving some skinks to flee (or also be killed in combat - I forget which).

Two rather innocuous charges
The start of my turn two was one of those times I feel that Warhammer is a prick of a game! I had two charges to declare one from the Saurus on the Bloodletters unit #1 and one from the Temple Guard on Bloodletter unit #2. Both were pretty short distances 9" and 10" I think and pretty important if I wanted to avoid charges from a testosteroned up Bloodthirster and Soul Grinder. Both were failed leaving me so far up Shit Creek that I was probably perched up on Shit Mountain waiting for Shit Avalanche to bludgeon me into Shit Niagra Falls. I caused  a few wounds on the Bloodcrutchers with Shem's Burning Gaze. I shot ineffectually with the skinks.

Bloodcrushers ignore the skinks

So near and yet so far!
In turn 3 a veritable crapfest of close combat troops desended on my Saurus, the Bloodthirster, Soul Grinder and Bloodletter unit #1 atacked them whereas the Temple guard got off lightly with Bloodletter unit #2 and the Bloodcrushers failing a charge. Flesh Hounds made a long charge into the skinks as well. The only unit I had not in combat was my Skink Shaman. The Close combat phase was fairly unsurprising - Saurus lost 20 models, fled through the Temple Guard. The Bloodthirster pursued into the Temple Guard luckily not leaving enough room for the Soul Grinder or Bloodletters. Small Mercies I suppose. The Temple Guard didn't win their combat but neither did they run (stubborn is good). The Flesh Hounds routed the skinks and caught them, probably throwing their bloody carcasses up in the air like playful Labradors.

In the backgound the dead saurus  (20 or more) can be seen. 
In my turn the Saurus rallied. The Slann mage Priest buffed his Temple guard up with Speed of Light I seem to recall. Mr Bloodthirster pummelled the Temple Guard, but they still gave a good account of themselves.
The Skink Shaman does his best to look like a blade of grass
The army of Khorne was well and truly in the driving seat. The Bloodcrocheters charged my now ok saurus. The soul Grinder due to it's ridiculous sized base (well done GW) had to maneuver it's way round to shoot the skink shaman as there was nothing else it could do. The Flesh Hounds after finishing playing with the skink carcasses ambled back towards the main fight. The magic phase was fun as even though nothing would happen Stu rolled anyway. It was at this time Slaanesh (my favourite chaos power) decided that he didn't like what Khorne was achieving on the battlefield and threw, well, whatever it is he lobs onto the battlefield. The only recipient of Slaanesh's stuff was the Soul Grinder. Whatever it is it caused 3 or 4 wounds on it dropping it down to 1 wound! Now all I need is it to misfire when it shoots my shaman, and it did! BOOM! No more Soul Grinder! Close combat went pretty well for the Saurus and not too bad for the Temple Guard either. The former actually won the combat whereas the latter just kept chopping.

Soulgrinder takes aim, fires!

The turns were now getting mercifully short. My only movement was to ensure no one could charge the shaman (who is getting a nice new paint job for his heroics). I cast Savage Beast on the Slann and that was about it. The Saurus finally killed off the Bloodcrushers and (rather unsportingly I thought) the Bloodthirster directed all his attacks on the Slann killing him before his now magically roided body could kick his arse! We called the called as in the next turn the saurus would be once again on the receiving end of a triple charge and I really didn't think a Savage Beast of Horros skink would turn the tide. I did enjoy the Soul Grinder blowing up though.

The scene from Alien reenacted


The list I had wasn't the toughest I could have made but it was an all comers(ish) one that had a lot of magical defenses (MR on the Slann, Hex Scroll and Dispel Scroll). All of these were useless against a mono Khorne army. it was actually a refreshing change for Stuart not to dispel as much as usual.  I daresay putting an Old Blood on a Carnosaur would have been more effective, and fun, especially with my skink defeating the Soul Grinder! Of course what lost me the game (or at least tabled me the game) was the two combat units failing charges - if I'd rolled average dice I'm sure the game would have had a more balanced look to it at the end. 

Thanks for reading, and may you always get your average dice when you need them!


Unknown said...

Those Saurian Skull's are just what Khorne need to decorate his throne.

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