Just Another COVID 19 Update

Aloha! Welcome one and all! Just a quick (that may end up long) update on my painting progress. I would say hobby progress but as there's a global pandemic going on, bugger all gaming is happening. As previous posts have alluded to 2020 was going to be this brilliant gaming fest when we played a 40K league and everyone had a great time. That's obviously on hold now so on the plus size I have managed to paint some shit up.....

Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers

Probably my favourite thing about the Astra Militarum fluff is Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers, a nod towards the Dirty Dozen movie where a group of army criminals attempt to assassinate a high ranking German officer in WWII. GW brought out a version out with their 'crimes' in a White Dwarf and a series of rules for each model to make for interesting suicide missions. They were modeled as coming from different AM regiments from across the galaxy and really showed out the diversity of the army with various uniforms and two female troops. 

The whole gang

Once again Citadel contrast paints were used. Colour-wise I used Militarum Green for the trousers (and skirt), Creed Camo for jackets, Gullimann flesh for skin tones and Goregrunta Fur for most of the webbing. A lot have Basilicanum Grey and Black Templar in there as well.

Warrior Woman, Ox, Fingers, Rocket Girl, Hero and part of er, Wheels?

Animal, Colonel Schaeffer, Shiv, Demolition Man, Brains and Scope

They all had cool sounding names and each had special rules that possibly worked well in 3rd or 4th edition 40K (I never played it much). For example Brains (second from right in the above picture) could hack and computer system on a 2+. Very thematic and useful in small skirmishes but in the Grim Darkness Of The 41st Millenium 8th edition not so useful. another rule Ox (second from left picture above this one) lost his shit if Brains died and doubled his strength and toughness for the remaider of the game. I am tempted to recreate the rules for the Last Chancers for the current edition, but with the general lethality of the game 12 models with special rules seems like effort.

Catachan Jungle Fighters

Next up are some more Catachan Jungle fighters. Using contrast paints I knocked these up in pretty much record time. They seem to be much brighter then my previous units so I hope they can blend in without too much visual trauma. These were done at the same time as the Last Chancers so I used the same colours.

Three grunts and a meltagun guy.

A company commander and two cronies, one with a plasmagun and another with a bolter.

The two pictured above with the Commander are both plastic models I got in an eBay job-lot. The one with plasmagun is known as trooper Beard and has the distinction of killing a Screamer Killer during the Second Battle of Lernin Kerv. Trooper Boltgun has no such stirring war story. Maybe he will for the Third Battle of Lernin Kerv that hasn't occurred yet.

Genestealers

No painting update would seem right without some Genestealer Cult models sneaking in to here they are; three Hybrids that have certainly seen some action, like trooper Beard, but due to me not having ever mentioned them in a battle they will remain anonymous for now (just how they like it). Contrast colours were once again the heroes.

These Hybrids seem somewhat lost as they are not dressed for jungle combat.

Another unit sat on the nearly finished area was my Magus and his two little bug eyed friends. Familiars are fun and they can give the Magus some additional spellage at crucial times of a game plus some extra attacks to thin out some rank and file. This gets my GSC army to well over 80% painted by my guess. The main item to finish now is the Patriarch and then  its off to convert up some vehicles to finish the army off.

The familiar on the left has seen lots of action judging by the missing claws on his gnarly little paws.

More Asta Militarum Types

My final three models are a little bit more interesting I feel, if only because I have given them back stories. On the left is an Orlock Juve that's been given a shotgun to play with. Not the best weapon to shoot single handed but it's a testament to cadet Onanism's wrists that he even attempts to shoot it like a pistol. In the centre is an old confessor model. Given the same colours as the rest of the guardsmen he will, (more often than not) represent a veteran with a plasmagun who is the squad's unofficial chaplain when there are no sanctioned Preachers around. He may wend his way into the entourage of an Inquisitor as plasmaguns are a good way to teach the ungodly about The Emperor. Thirdly on the left is a model I bought several years ago from Iron Mammoth Design. Now they seem to be available by Rattrap Production but I can't see them on their website. Anyway, the model on the left is a Shaolin Monk whom I stuck to a rock as he looked all meditatey and then lost interest in painting. Then came Contrast paints and an idea for a combat instructor for new recruits in my Krablokistan army. So Master Xhuc Pan Tang was born. A monster in close combat (for a human) due to his martial arts. Carrying nothing but a staff (which in game terms has to be a blade of conquest) he will more than likely be hitting the tabletop in a batrep near you when the restrictions lift.

So that's it for now 27 more models have made the big time. Hopefully, in the not too distant I can get rolling dice for these little soldiers  and create magically theatrical batreps to enthrall and excite all and sundry. Anyway, feel free to comment below and tell how great I'm doing without much effort. Until next time (there's a very good chance there will be more Catachans) cheers for dropping by.

Thanks for reading.

Deathworld Flora and Fauna Part 4 The Mantic Ogre Crab

Excerpt from the Mantic Grimoire of Dangerouse Beastes

Three adult Ogre Crabs

The Ogre Crab (turci cancer ardentum) was discovered during the colonization of the Mantic Sector,planet Nameless; a temperate D class planet with 11% landmass the remainder given over to huge oceans of sodium laced H2O. Initial explorators discovered many edible wildlife and of particular note was a small crablike creature that produced highly nutritious meat with an extremely palatable taste. They were scavengers that could eat virtually any foodstuff but seemed to thrive on human waste; non techs quickly gave them the name Turdcrabs. Six limbed with a hard exoskeleton and two powerful claws were the most noticeable feature. Six eyes that could view through the infrared spectrum and a cluster of feeder tendrils allowed them to digest most substances quickly. Approximately 14 cm in height they were thought to be a good source of protein for the ever expanding Imperium. Experiments were conducted on them and were approved as Xenos Nutrititatum and therefore sanctioned for interplanetary export. Either due to incompetence or laziness, servitors omitted a vital piece of information regarding the species growth rates and that was, they do not stop growing. The immature Turd crabs have a tendency to cluster around the coastal areas of Nameless until they reach a size where they can successfully navigate the deeper oceans and defend themselves from the enormous marine life found there. This means that specimens can reach dreadnought size and beyond. The information was hastily amended and was due to be sent to all the Imperial planets that had been sent live specimens for breeding purposes, sadly an unprovoked attack by Aeldari pirates destroyed the Astra Telepathica station before the warnings could be broadcast. Some 80 Terran years passed before contact was re-established and by then the Turd crab had been transported to hundreds of planets and were put to use in many planets sewer systems. On the planets where these creatures are kept under control they are little more than a nuisance. On planets where they are left to proliferate and grow they can become a severe threat. One example of this is the now uninhabited Bulapse Theta planet in the system of the same name. Inquisitor Shablitz Morne landed on the planet on the trail of Idolator Jobes only to find the place swamped with thousands of huge Turd crabs. After accessing the dataslates it became apparent that routine sewage patrol designed to eradicate larger specimens were cancelled due to budget cuts. Turd crabs proliferated until they reached swarm type numbers and overran the planet. Morne declared the planet unfit for human habitation until a major reconquest force is deployed. Due to the current galaxy wide conflicts that will not be in the near future. It was around this time that the name Turd crabs was changed to something more fitting for such a dangerous creature the Ogre crab was reclassified (Imprimir PÃ ¡cancer ardentem). Sadly an organization the size of the Administratum is not without faults, one of the main ones is it's immense size and how quickly it can change the millions of documents in it's archives. To this day there several xenos publications using the old entry for the Ogre crab and a consequence of this is there are still some planets exporting these creatures to new colonies. This, unsurprisingly continues to create new outbreaks of Ogre crab infestations across the Imperium of Man. It has been theorized that the attack by Aeldari on the Astra Telepathica station on Nameless was a deliberate attempt to spread this creature throughout the Imperium. The continued miscommunication between different parts of the Administratum is also believed to be a deliberate attempt to sabotage the expansion of humanity by hostile alien forces. Whatever the cause the Imperium now has to expend a sizable portion of it's resources on keeping these creatures in check.

Turdcrabs scavenging on New Berkshire

Punch Up At The Olde Shielde

The Olde Shield is a franchise of retro drinking establishments that are popular on several hundred Imperial worlds. The Olde Shield mentioned in the title is situated on a former Maiden world called Boomshanka. Legend has it that Sot, Aeldari god of wine and revelry gave his people the double edged sword of inebriation and emotional over-reaction. When the forces of two unnamed Craftworlds co-incidentally happened upon a tavern on the ruins of an ancient shrine to Sot, they decided to engage the Mon-keigh that they found there. These happened to be a force of Crimson Fists enjoying some open air mindfulness drills. This is the account of  that meeting.......

 Greetings. Today is a different type of battle report as it is a game I wasn't playing only witnessing. It was part of the C.L.A.W. 2020 League and the scenario was Scorched Earth from the 2019 Chapter Approved. The game was cool to watch but as it was part of the league, I did not offer advice, Only impartiality. Neil's army was called Prophetic Wraith Casters and can be found if you follow the link. Dylan used Strike Force Espiridion and can be found in the second link. Looking at the list I think there is a disparity in "optimalisation" one has loads of it, the other not so much. I'll let you decide which. So anyway, On with the battle.

A Crimson Fist 'castle'. They defend objective 2 with faith in the emperor and bugger all cover.

Squad 'Lucky Duck' guard objective 3. Squad 'Out in the Open' act as bullet shields for the Chaplain.

The Biel Tan deployment. Wraithblades and a Warlock in the Wave serpent on the left,  Wraithguard in the one on the right. Three squads of Rangers are lurking around til turn two (or three) to be arsey.

A big dreadnaught containing the remains of Brother  'Unpleasant Fate' stands next to Squad 'Probably Doomed'.

The Aeldari win the first turn and there was much movement. Both Wave Serpents scooted round the flanks with the Farseer on the left. Two War walkers stood on the objectives in their deployment zone while the third hurdles a wall to get onto the one in the Olde Shield. Some Smiting and Executionering saw squad 'Probably Doomed' thinned out followed by some shooting. After all his dice rolling Dylan had the sergeant left. A successful morale test (after a reroll) meant Neil just about missed out on First Strike. he had put some serious damage into two of the Intercessor squads.

Lots of shooting later Squad 'Probably Doomed' is down to their sergeant. 

Over on the left the Wave Serpent and Farseer look smarmy. A War Walker grabs the objective in the centre of the table. The two objectives in Neil's deployment zone are held by War Walkers also.

In Dylan's turn the xenos felt the wrath of the Crimson Fists somewhat. No psykers meant no Smites being hurled around. there was a fair bit of shooting which left a two damaged wave Serpents and two damaged War Walkers (the one in the pub was down to one wound). No First Strike for the Astartes either then.

The Wraithguard jump out of their ride and some Rangers creep into the picture. Squad 'Lucky Duck' are somewhat depleted. The Wave Serpent goes to make a nuisance of itself next to squad 'Out in theOpen'.

Neilcam© sees all.

Turn two was where the passengers got out of their rides. Wraithblades and Warlock on the left Wraithguard on the right. The Dreadnaught got Doomed and Jinxed. It was an unpleasant combination that took a lot of wounds off it. Master Crafters on War Walkers with Doom and Jinx is very, very unpleasant. The Wraithblades then assaulted the Dread with the Autarch tagging along. Needless to say Brother 'Unpleasant Fate' got messed up again. It is unclear whether there is enough of him left to put him in another Dreadnaught. Only time, and Dylan will tell. Over on the right flank the Wraithguard and some Rangers severely shot up the Intercessor squad codename 'Lucky Duck'. The sergeant of Squad 'Probably Doomed' died to shuriken fatigue. The Wraithseer sniped the Ancient effectively neutering the Crimson Fist castle tactic. The Wave Serpent on the right assaulted squad 'Out in the Open' causing a wound. The Aeldari scored 4 VPs  for their objectives.

At the top left of the picture Brother dreadnaught 'Unpleasant Fate' is about to get on the end of some Wraithblade weaponry. Squad 'Out in the Open' is about to be dunted by the Wave Serpent. 

Brother dreadnaught 'Unpleasant Fate' is both Doomed and Jinxed. His fate is pretty much sealed.

The view from Neilcam© shows all the bodies clustered around objective 4.

Both Brother Dreadnaught 'Unpleasant Fate' and squad 'Probably Doomed' are gone.

Getting rammed by a Wave Serpent is generally not a dangerous thing to happen. In this case Brother 'Careless' gets his knee scuffed and loses a wound.

Dylan was up against it now as he held two objectives and Neil had four. But Crimson Fists being a stubborn lot, they decided this sort of uneven fight was just their cup of Astartes tea. The Inceptors arrived to the battle on the Aeldari back line. A brief summary of the action was the War Walker in the pub was Hellblastered to death. The final member of squad 'Lucky Duck' charged the Rangers whilst still keeping control of objective three. I think he killed some and routed the rest, all the while maintaining eye contact with the Wraithguard. On the other side of the table however, the Inceptors failed their charge on the War Walker. This is, I feel, important. so at the end of turn 2 Dylan gets 2 VPs leaving the game 4 - 2 to the Aeldari.

Squad 'Lucky Duck' has officially lost it's moniker. 

Same occurence slightly different view.

Having dealt with the Dreadnaught, the restless dead from Biel Tan want some more action. Luckily for Dylan they just couldn't consolidate into the Hellblasters.

Meanwhile over the other side of the table,,,,,,,

So in Neil's turn three he moved the Wraithseer to engage the Inceptors and the Wraithblades to the Hellblasters on the hill. The third unit of Rangers appeared somewhere as well. The Wraithguard took objective three and the Wraithblades assaulted the Hellblasters on the hill. I think the Intercessors avec the Chaplain killed the Wave Serpent. The Wraithseer took the Inceptors down to two models. The Primaris on the hill took a bit of a beating but not as bad as I thought they would, the captain joined in so I think he helped turn the tide somewhat.

The Wraithseer wanders over to the Inceptors as they had stood around like cotton-headed-ninny-muggins!

The Wave Serpent and Farseer sneak round the back. Looking at the picture part of the Wave serpent is off the table. Is it important? I'm not really sure.

In a rare moment of good fortune for Dylan, the Wraithseer only manages to inflict a single wound on the Inceptors.

The Wraithseer makes the short charge and decides to flail about with his massive weapon.

Back to shit luck, a failed charge from the Inceptors.

The Crimson Fists are just about able to hold on to objective 2. 

A second flurry of good luck for Dylan. I think these were saving throws from rather unpleasant Aeldari weaponry.

The Intercessors grab objective 1. An Autarch goes to have words with them about it.

"DIE XENOS SCUM!".

The Warlock has been given guard cube number four duty. Picture courtesy of Neilcam© again.

The xenos scum is about to feel the retribution of the blue imperial fists.

And now he's gone. But another xenos bugger has crept into view.

Another view of the creepy Farseer.

Neil even buys shorter models so they can hide behind walls!

A brief summary of the rest of the game was the Aeldari re-rolled virtually everything they needed to which really hurt the Crimson Fists. A systematic eradication of all the marines only hit a few speed bumps. Objective three was destroyed by the Aeldari and they continued to hold the rest for the remains of the game. The Autarch was killed in the pub and the Farseer just outside it. The Crimson Fist Captain and Chaplain made a heroic - if somewhat doomed to failure - assault on a Wave Serpent, Kingslayer and Linebreaker was scored by the Eldar. We got to turn 7 and the score reflects this. 

Final Score Aeldari 27 Crimson Fists 7

At the end of the game this is Neil's dead pile. All except a Wave serpent that gets stored in another receptacle. Not so much a testament to his generalship, but rather a damning indictment of taking bugger all toughness 3 models in an Aeldari army.

Post Game Punditry

That game was a bit one sided and no mistake. From the view of a bystander it was a good display of the mobility  of the Aeldari. Neil's list was pretty nasty. Only three units of toughness 3 models and none of them on the table first turn. Two units of wraith constructs and a Wraithseer. Warwalkers and Wave Serpents. All tough to get rid of and very mobile. I think when you play against such a mobile army you need to get the first turn. A couple of other factors are pertinent I feel. Neil has constructed his army to fully get the most out of the Phoenix Rising book for Psychic Awakening, he has a shit ton of rerolls for shooting, wounding and psychic powers. Dylan's list had no Librarian to even attempt to deny the many Aeldari witches on the table. If I was to be critical of Dylan's game I think he didn't concentrate his fire in the first turn as he left two damaged War Walkers on objectives, had he killed one or other of them, First Strike would have been scored and 1 less VP for Neil. This in itself would not have won the game but Neil would not have been racing away so quickly. Also in turn two when the Inceptors landed had Dylan been a bit luckier he could have stolen and objective in Neil's deployment zone, destroy it and even up the score. Sadly he didn't and the extra VPs Neil got really hurt the Astartes. I think Neil played a good game and him getting first turn was a big plus. He sniped the Chapter Ancient in turn two, with a D-Cannon! D-Cannons are wonderful weapons but I think giving a model one and then giving him the ability to snipe enemy characters is a wee bit broken. Losing a seemingly unassailable character that gives casualties a dying attack was an easy way to remove a big threat. As is often the case in these games re-rolls win prizes and I think the massive number that Neil's army had against a numerically small foe had dire consequences for Dylan. So to wrap up this report I think one list was more optimized than the other and that list got first turn.

So in terms of the league, Neil is out in front with 3 games and 3 wins, one of those was against me and it may or may not get a batrep. Phil is second and the others are arrayed in order of points. It is of note that not everyone has played the same number of games and with the onset of COVID 19 it is uncertain when any more games will be played. The league is on hold but it will return!

Thanks for reading.

Genestealer Cult Progress

Some new inductees into the Assembly of D'Keddes! Today I have a few more contrast paint commandos. The best thing I think about contrast paints is there is no massive gap between finishing stuff so I don't forget the paint combinations or highlights (especially now as there is none!). So anyhow, here's the pretty pictures....

Two Fat Hybrids and Some Half Orlocks

Recent games and the Psychic Awakening book have  made me redo my lists. Having painted up most of my Neophytes I had to get a bit creative, especially as I wanted another seismic cannon in my shotgun armed strike team. Also I have some spare special weapons to start doling out so I can swap loadouts and have the models to put on the table without having to refer to them as "that Neophyte with the flamer actually has a webber". I had some Neophyte torsos left over so I hacked apart some old Orlocks and hey presto! More cultists. I also chopped up the two gorkamorka  wartrack gunners to create a couple of chunky hybrids, one with the aforementioned seismic cannon and another with an autogun. I'm pretty happy with the results so hopefully they can start doing great work for the cult in the near future!

Because the Ork models heads were sunk into their torsos, I had to give both models medallions to cover up their surgery. It also means that can go down to the local Assembly of D'Keddes discos and pick up female cultists for procreation purposes. Lucky them?

Hell's Angles

Also finished are Atalan Jackals. These are some of the best models in the Genestealer Cult range that for various reasons haven't been seeing a lot of table time recently. This will hopefully change as there are a couple of new opportunities since the PA book came out. 

I have also finished up my Jackal Alphus which is one of the more effective and useful models in the GSC army. Anything that can give a +1 to hit for *all units within 6" on a specific target. Only now there is a strategem to increase that to 18"! This is massive and something I will be pissing off my opponents with in the near future.

Jackal Alphus Mary

 Big Ugly Abominant

Another completed character, the Abominant! Probably the most durable model in the cult army. Hits like truck too. Put him with a unit of Aberrants and there will be blood!

Stumbolklunk the Terrible and his assistant Little Gavin.

 Everybody's Favourite Gunslinger

This isn't actually true. Most of the guys in my gaming group hate him. Those that have come up against him anyway. He got a 15 point hike in the last update and a 75 points is still a very good price. Deployed correctly he can take out characters and improve the shooting of the locals. Fantastic model too,

The Hybrid with No Name.

So there you have it, 15 more cultists to help overthrow the Imperium. Be afraid Imperium, be very afraid!

* Not really all. Those members of the cult masquerading as legitimate military employees are incapable of following the direction of a chick on a dirt bike. Come on GW, don't make my army out to be sexists! Allow my Leman Russ crew to be inclusive to all!

Thanks for reading.

The Crusade of Dy Celiac IV

The saga of Brother Sergeant Buttafucco's escape from Dy Celiac IV was worthy of entry into The  Emperor's Great Colouring Book of the Astartes in itself. Having to disguise himself and his two remaining Eliminator squad mates as burly washerwomen to reach the orbital monitoring station was an act of genius only exceeded by the jobsworth attitude of the shuttle security detail. A brutal bloodbath later where several technicians were killed because 'they looked a bit purple' enabled the warning signal to be sent out. The message was simple, Dy Celiac IV had been overthrown by the Assembly of D'Keddes, a genestealer cult and the Blood Angel force was presumably wiped out. By the most random of chances, a single Astarte strike craft was close enough to respond. Buttafucco was surprised to receive a small force of Blood Angels including Lord Mephiston himself. After a detailed briefing the Blood Angels leader - Brother Captain Nivea ordered a swift assault on where the hierarchy of the cult was thought to be. And so the Crusade of Dy Celiac IV began......

Don't Fupp with The Baldies!

Hallo. Some more work has been done to my burgeoning GSC army. Again, Citadel contrast paints are the real hero as I'm just the guy dipping the brush in the pot, then over the models keeping it semi-tidy. One of the most consistent aspects of this blog is how inconsistent I am keeping focus on a single project. Last year I painted more models in common with each other an ever before. I believe the reason for this is "The Great 2020 40K League" which is a thing that has started. Nine games and one to prove who is top dog in Cavan at rolling dice and coming up with unpleasant lists for your opponent to attempt to deal with. Another member of the gaming group (Aeldari player) has volunteered to create and update a blog about the league so that should prove entertaining. I will update my loyal readers with details when I get them.

The Assembly Of D'Keddes

The Assembly of D'Keddes is a cult that originated from Trotskigrad in the D'Keddes system. They were happily going about do their work, assimilating the proles when a large uprising occurred, funded by the Alpha Legion. After the chaos cultists overran the lacklustre PDF the assembly decided to intervene. A  large battle was fought in the ruins of the Governor's Palace with the Patriarch, barely surviving the battle. In his weakened state he mentally commanded his followers to flee the planet before the inevitably Inquisitorial circus arrived and questions had to be answered. Commandeering several Imperial freighters and subverting the crew the cult became nomadic wanderers setting down tendrils on whatever planets they could safely. Some of these tendrils have been exterminated swiftly but enough remain to pose a significant threat, planets that contain strong Assemblage numbers are: Skorlax, Dy Celiac IV and Pruscilla. They continued to attempt to infect every world they come into contact with.  So that's the Cult's weak ass backstory, here are the money shots;

Nine Hybrids go to a pub.....

Followed by fifteen Neophytes.....

Then a scratchbuilt Sanctus.....

Followed by another twenty one Neophytes.....

One Neophyte asked "Whose round is it?".....

And they all went home. True story. 

So by my reckoning forty six models were finished this January! This is partly because many were in various states of completion, but more so due to the speeded up painting times enabled by contrast paints. I now have more painted up GSC models than unpainted which is a totally bonkers state of affairs for me! The Assembly of D'Keddes are due a game tomorrow against Aaron's Blood Angels so hopefully I can furnish this blog with another cool battle report with Aaron's excellently  painted force. So until that day I will have to leave you with hopes of xenos domination over the poster boys of bad anger management.

Thanks for reading.